From The Comedy Store
Caroline Kennedy arrived in Tokyo to present her credentials as the U.S. Ambassador to Japan. The next day Harry Reid decided to kill the Senate filibuster rule. Leave it to Democrats to exercise the nuclear option with the last living Kennedy in Japan.
Oprah Winfrey caused a storm when she told the BBC she thinks the Obama Administration gets no respect due to racism in America. Actually there’s very little left of that. If nothing else, Joe Biden has destroyed the myth of white supremacy once and for all.
Caroline Kennedy arrived in Tokyo to present her credentials as the U.S. Ambassador to Japan. The next day Harry Reid decided to kill the Senate filibuster rule. Leave it to Democrats to exercise the nuclear option with the last living Kennedy in Japan.
George Clooney said in an interview he could never be a U.S. president. He said he’s an ardent Democrat but he’s slept with way too many women and done too many drugs. Some people were inspired by Jack Kennedy, but stopped short of running for office.
John Kerry negotiated a proposal with the Afghan government which would allow U.S. troops and bases to remain in Afghanistan after next spring’s pullout. We would pay Afghans billions to let us stay there. It’s like buying a hunting license for drone attacks.
President Obama skipped the Gettysburg Address anniversary ceremony last week in Pennsylvania. He memorized the speech as a kid. To this day President Obama can proudly state that four score and seven people have successfully signed up for Obamacare.
President Obama spoke to a high-tech group on behalf of an Immigration Reform bill in Silicon Valley. They heckled him for being too tough on immigration. Even their favorite bookstore, Borders, declared bankruptcy and closed under President Obama.
Israel vowed to take all measures necessary to prevent Iran from completing a nuclear bomb after the U.S.-Iran deal was announced. It’s bad. They didn’t mobilize until President Obama assured Israel if they liked their current defense plan, they get to keep it.
President Obama defended the nuclear deal with Iran Monday in San Jose. It’s much tougher than it looks. If Iran doesn’t stop enriching uranium in six months, President Obama can set up a website for Iran’s atomic reactor and no one wants a second Chernobyl.
President Obama’s job approval rating fell to an all-time low of thirty-seven percent in the CBS News poll. His personal favorability rating has also plummeted. Last night, President Obama got into a fight with his dog Bo, and Michelle said the dog was right.
Bill Clinton humbly accepted the Presidential Medal of Freedom at the White House in a touching ceremony. He was first to point out how lucky he’s been. It’s no surprise that the corporate sponsor of the Bill Clinton Presidential Library is Nine Lives.
Nevada’s Moonlight Bunny Ranch hookers thanked Congress for passing Obamacare. It gave them health care for the first time. To a woman, these prostitutes told TV reporters they’re grateful to Congress and added that they can’t wait to see them again.
Butterball Farms announced there’s a shortage of Thanksgiving turkeys nationwide after a slow breeding season. That didn’t dampen the holiday in Washington D.C. There are a lot of turkeys on Capitol Hill, in fact one was found last weekend stuffed with cocaine.
Senator Harry Reid got rid of filibuster rights in the Senate Thursday, setting off a civil war. The noise was deafening. Butterball picked the wrong week to blame this year’s skinny birds on a shortage of large-mouthed turkeys, when you see how D.C. is overstocked.
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