From The Comedy Store
Barbara Walters selected rap star Kanye West to her list of the Ten Most Fascinating People in America. He just said he wants to be the Obama of fashion. To achieve that end, he’s introducing a clothing line nobody wants and selling it on a website that doesn’t work.
Barbara Walters selected rap star Kanye West to her list of the Ten Most Fascinating People in America. He just said he wants to be the Obama of fashion. To achieve that end, he’s introducing a clothing line nobody wants and selling it on a website that doesn’t work.
Washington Redskins coach Mike Shanahan benched Robert Griffin III for the season since they’re so awful this year. It’s so embarrassing. Native American groups just asked the NFL’s commissioner to compromise and remove football team from the Redskins name.
President Obama got photographed flirting with Denmark’s blonde prime minister in front of Michelle at Mandela’s memorial. It was a close call. He only avoided being knocked cold by reminding Michelle how high their deductible is under Obamacare.
The White House asked insurance companies to extend the deadline for Obamacare policyholder payments to assure coverage. The chaos is frightening. A year ago they said you can keep your health care plan, and today they’re saying don’t get sick in January.
President Obama eulogized Mandela while a fake deaf-sign language translator stood next to him onstage relaying gibberish to the crowd. A star is born. After the ceremony he was apprehended by the Secret Service and appointed Signing Czar by President Obama.
President Obama lit the National Christmas Tree in a reverential but joyful way. Every U.S. president has his own approach toward religion. Bill Clinton came to Jesus, George W. Bush talked to Jesus and Barack Obama fills in for Jesus on major holidays.
The British Medical Journal studied James Bond’s drinking rate in twenty movies and said his alcohol intake would make him impotent, feeble and prone to car wrecks. That’s so one-sided. It’s true that alcohol kills people but how many people are born because of it?
President Obama’s approval rating fell to thirty-eight percent while Toronto mayor Rob Ford’s approval rating soared to fifty percent. The conclusion is plain to see. President Obama would have been better off smoking crack than passing Obamacare.
President Obama turned over management of the Obamacare website to the vice president of Microsoft. Who needs health care anyway? Last year Microsoft broke Volkswagen’s world record, because Volkswagen made only twenty-two million bugs.
The Mega Millions lottery’s jackpot drawing on Tuesday night wound up having two winners, one from Georgia and one from California. The two states have an inverted relationship. Georgia started out as a prison colony while California has evolved into one.
China’s government successfully made a soft landing on the moon with a space craft, setting off Chinese national pride and celebration. Americans could only smile wistfully. It harkened back to the days when the U.S. government could get a website to work.
Prince Charles demanded that Muslim nations stop persecuting Christians. It’s about time the West got tough with the world’s tyrants. Last week, John McCain called Kim Jung Un a circus clown which, while insulting, still makes him eligible to be vice president.
President Obama was advised in a review to order the NSA to stop data-mining phone calls of citizens of foreign countries. Mexico is furious about the practice. It’s not enough that we’re spying on U.S. citizens but we’re also spying on future U.S. citizens.
© Copyright 2013 Argus Hamilton
