From The Comedy Store
The Winter Olympic Games opened in Russia at the Black Sea resort of Sochi. This town is not far from Chechin terrorists, Georgian drug lords, and al-Qaeda cells. The U.S. Olympic athletes trained for Sochi last year by running for their lives in the interior of Mexico.
Barack Obama’s State of the Union had the lowest ratings in fifteen years. It’s his fault. At the start of his speech, viewers heard the president vow to focus on more jobs, better education and health care reform and they turned the channel thinking it was a re-run.
Joe Biden spent the State of the Union speech scratching his nose, scratching his face, and scratching his hair on camera. Narcotics detectives were dismayed. The whole idea of watching TV at night is to get away from the people you have to deal with on the street all day.
Joe Biden struck again while responding to Bob Gates’ assertion that he’s been wrong about foreign policy for forty years. Throughout his rebuttal, Joe referred to Bob Gates as Bill Gates. Last night Joe Biden’s train of thought derailed; there were no survivors.
Obama went on the road where he faced hostile questions about Obamacare. He answered if you have trouble with the Obamacare website, you can always apply by mail. Only the federal government would develop a website that’s slower than mail.
President Obama was interviewed by Bill O'Reilly before the Super Bowl. The partisan knives came out after the game. Republicans blame Denver’s poor play on Obamacare while Democrats accuse Governor Chris Christie of blocking all Bronco lanes to the end zone.
A BBC poll found that Germany and Japan are the world’s two favorite countries in the network’s annual survey of people around the world. What a surprise. It just proves that if you can make a quality automobile, it goes a long way toward making up for past war crimes.
The White House announced that President Obama will visit Saudi Arabia and meet with King Abdullah in March. The Saudi way of thinking is the exact opposite of Western thinking. In California, for instance, we expose our women and cover up our oil.
Mississippi was rated the Most Religious State in the Union by Gallup, followed by Alabama, Louisiana, Arkansas, and Oklahoma. It had a double edge. The states were a lot happier about being rated Most Religious than they were about being reminded they are in the Union.
The CIA reportedly just deployed a spy plane that flies at a speed of six times the speed of sound high above the Earth. It can photograph anything or any person anywhere. The plane’s so good at spying that President Obama is already denying knowing anything about it.
The Winter Olympic Games opened in Russia at the Black Sea resort of Sochi. This town is not far from Chechin terrorists, Georgian drug lords, and al-Qaeda cells. The U.S. Olympic athletes trained for Sochi last year by running for their lives in the interior of Mexico.
NBC Sports hopes to dominate network ratings with its coverage of the Winter Olympic games for two weeks. To help make sure everybody is riveted, they have added a little something that could make the games a lot more exciting. All the bobsleds are made by Toyota.
Mexico President Enrique Pena Nieto will hosts President Obama next week in Mexico City’s presidential palace. It’s an annual exchange. Once a year, America’s president goes to Mexico to visit our jobs and once a year Mexico’s president comes to the U.S. to visit his people.
President Obama addressed a grade school class in Maryland Tuesday. He announced a plan to hook up every child in America to the Internet, and the children cheered. Then he told them that Obamacare is good for their families and they fell out of their seats laughing.
© Copyright 2014 Argus Hamilton
