Burt Prelutsky / Mar. 17, 2014

Proud to be a Flat Earther

As you have probably heard, John Kerry, who is nearly as screwy as Al Gore, has announced that climate change "is the most dangerous, most fearsome, weapon of mass destruction." Inasmuch as Obama and his underlings have once again dragged out this bugaboo in hopes of currying favor with their base and redirecting attention away from the stench of the Affordable Care Act, it would be better described as a weapon of mass distraction.

As you have probably heard, John Kerry, who is nearly as screwy as Al Gore, has announced that climate change “is the most dangerous, most fearsome, weapon of mass destruction.”

Inasmuch as Obama and his underlings have once again dragged out this bugaboo in hopes of currying favor with their base and redirecting attention away from the stench of the Affordable Care Act, it would be better described as a weapon of mass distraction.

Even if global warming, or whatever they’re calling it this week, wasn’t political chicanery posing as science, Obama, Kerry and the jack-booted thugs at the EPA, would be whistling in the wind. That’s because China, India and Indonesia, have no plans to shut down their coal-burning plants and withdraw quietly to the pre-industrial 19th century just so the brie-noshing, cabernet-swilling, swells can feel good about themselves. China, alone, for crying out loud, opens a new coal-burning plant every single week of the year.

Scuttling the coal industry in America will not only drive an economic stake through the heart of such states as Kentucky, Pennsylvania, Ohio and West Virginia, but send the energy costs of every American soaring through the stratosphere, just as Obama swore to do in 2008.

The fact is that even if not a single lump of coal were burned in the United States, it would have no more effect on the atmosphere than I would have on the world’s water supply if I only showered every other day.

Possibly the biggest victim of the weather hoax is science itself. When those seeking grants and tenure forsake any pretense of being truth seekers, and go along with the notion of science being based on consensus and actually use the toxic United Nations to seal the deal, you know you’re dealing with liars and fakers.

Furthermore, these are some of the same folks that couldn’t create a workable website in spite of blowing several hundred million dollars and wasting three years in the attempt. They are obviously in no position to label those who question their technological expertise as paid-up members of the Flat Earth Society, as Obama and Kerry do with annoying regularity.

It just strikes me that if you can’t even produce a viable website, you’re on very shaky ground when it comes to trying to screw around with the world’s weather.

In 2008, when Obama boasted that his energy policy would send energy costs skyrocketing – and still got elected – I assumed most people thought he was joshing. And when, as president, he unleashed the dogs of the EPA on the coal industry, I assumed most people sloughed it off as strictly between him and the folks in those coal mining states. But when he was re-elected last year, even carrying some of those very states, it merely convinced me that a lot of people can’t chew gum and vote at the same time.

Coal is responsible for 40% of our energy. If a foreign power had somehow deprived us of our coal supply, we would have gone to war with them. Well, not Obama, of course, but all our other commanders-in-chief would have. Hell, Obama wouldn’t have gone to war over Pearl Harbor.

In case you’re not able to keep up with all the shenanigans Obama pulls off on behalf of those whose votes the Democrats require if they’re not going to follow the Whigs and Bull Moosers into the dustbin of history, he is opening gas stations offering free gas in 70 inner-city locations around the country.

Apparently, a little known provision of ObamaCare authorizes “improved transportation routes to hospitals.” As the regime’s argument goes, what good is this splendiferous new health care system if poor people can’t get themselves to the few remaining doctors? The first such station just opened, naturally, in Detroit. And, no, the customers, if you can even call them that, will not have to prove they’ll be using the gas to get to Henry Ford Hospital or Sinai-Grace.

The price tag attached to this giveaway is two billion dollars, and only a very backward child would believe it has any other purpose aside from persuading grateful recipients to use some of that gas to drive themselves to the voting booth on Election Day.

Finally, in case you missed the news, “Cover Oregon,” that state’s ObamaCare exchange, has spent $160 million and has yet to sign up a single person. In some quarters of the state, that has been the cause of high dudgeon, but I say, back off! After all, Obama blew nearly a trillion dollars on his stimulus bill and it led to no jobs, shovel ready or otherwise, and he’s still running victory laps over it.

The shmuck also wasted several hundred million of our tax dollars on Solyndra and other con games involving green energy, all for the benefit of his major campaign contributors.

It just seems to me that Oregonians who have twice voted overwhelmingly for Obama have no business getting all hissy over a paltry $160 million. One could say it’s merely a case of Oregon’s chickens answering that age old question by crossing the road in order to come home to roost.

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