Why We Ask: Our mission and operations are funded 100% by conservatives like you. Please help us continue to extend Liberty to the next generation and support the 2024 Year-End Campaign today.

December 24, 2015

Partying Hipsters, Shrimp Fight Club and Monkeys in Hamster Balls

In honor of the release of the new “Star Wars” movie, Sen. Jeff Flake, R-Ariz., subtitled this year’s “Wastebook” as “The Farce Awakens.” The latest edition of this annual report details 100 spending programs, totaling $108.5 million, that are a complete waste of your money.

In honor of the release of the new “Star Wars” movie, Sen. Jeff Flake, R-Ariz., subtitled this year’s “Wastebook” as “The Farce Awakens.” The latest edition of this annual report details 100 spending programs, totaling $108.5 million, that are a complete waste of your money.

On the list, we find $1 million that went to the National Institutes of Health to study a dozen monkeys running in hamster balls on a treadmill. That’s right. But as strange as the spending may seem to us taxpayers, it’s not unique. The report states, “In a case of monkey-see, monkey-do, the National Institute on Aging is already spending more than $600,000 to conduct its own monkey on a treadmill study.”

You should also know that $706,800 of your hard-earned money has been granted by the National Science Foundation for Duke University to conduct a so-called “shrimp fight club,” where shrimp are pitted against each other so that researchers can “observe the punching power of mantis shrimp, which engage in ritualized fighting with powerful hammer-like claws.”

Now, these may not be so bad as the $5 million spent by the National Institutes of Health on the organization of parties for hipsters at bars and nightclubs in an effort to entice them to “take a stand against tobacco corporations.” The report, however, notes that when the “parties fail to achieve that goal, the intervention gets blunt, flashing cash in front of the hipsters’ ‘stache. 'Quit smoking, get cash’ offers one of the programs that hands out up to $100 as a payoff to get hipsters to stop smoking.”

We also spent $668,000 to study the hashtags “angrytweets” and “heartattacks,” $77,000 on Yogurtopia and $448 million on free rent for freeloaders. But here’s the thing: As much as this waste is annoying and undoubtedly a problem worthy of congressional attention, it’s only a small component of government waste in this country.

First there are improper payments, which cost over $100 billion each year. But that pales in comparison with the pervasive waste that exists in current spending patterns. It also pales in comparison with the economic damage caused by misallocation of capital and the creation of perverse incentives — for example, the moral hazard created by government bailouts and terrible regulations.

In fiscal 2015, the federal government spent $3.7 trillion, or 20.7 percent of gross domestic product. The consequence of this spending was a $439 billion budget deficit. A large part of this overspending was not even spending too much on things but spending that never should have happened at all — e.g., money for farm and energy subsidies, as well as other crony subsidies, outdated weapon systems and Amtrak. Then there was all the spending that actually should have been paid for by the states, such as money for education and transportation.

According to the Congressional Budget Office’s alternative scenario budget projection — the scenario under which widely expected policy changes occur, including legislators’ concessions to interest groups, such as physicians and senior citizens — at its current trajectory, spending will increase to 21.9 percent of GDP in 2020 and to 25.8 percent in 2030 and to 30.4 percent in 2040.

The expansion of mandatory programs — such as Medicare, Medicaid, Affordable Care Act subsidies and Social Security — is the driving force behind this spending growth and our exploding debt. Unfortunately, as the debt grows, the interest payments on that debt will grow, as well. If the United States doesn’t change course, debt will end up as one of its biggest budget items. Our unfunded liabilities keep going up, too. The net present value of the promises made to the American people for which the United States does not have the money to pay is roughly $75.5 trillion, according to the Treasury Department.

I guess the bottom line is this: As troubling as monkeys running on treadmills — in hamster balls — and hipsters being paid to party may be, we have problems that are exponentially more worrisome. It doesn’t mean that we should tolerate the $3 million paid by the Department of Homeland Security to the owners of party buses, including one described as a “nightclub on wheels.” It means that we should demand that lawmakers finally start to take the more serious problems seriously.

COPYRIGHT 2015 CREATORS.COM

Who We Are

The Patriot Post is a highly acclaimed weekday digest of news analysis, policy and opinion written from the heartland — as opposed to the MSM’s ubiquitous Beltway echo chambers — for grassroots leaders nationwide. More

What We Offer

On the Web

We provide solid conservative perspective on the most important issues, including analysis, opinion columns, headline summaries, memes, cartoons and much more.

Via Email

Choose our full-length Digest or our quick-reading Snapshot for a summary of important news. We also offer Cartoons & Memes on Monday and Alexander’s column on Wednesday.

Our Mission

The Patriot Post is steadfast in our mission to extend the endowment of Liberty to the next generation by advocating for individual rights and responsibilities, supporting the restoration of constitutional limits on government and the judiciary, and promoting free enterprise, national defense and traditional American values. We are a rock-solid conservative touchstone for the expanding ranks of grassroots Americans Patriots from all walks of life. Our mission and operation budgets are not financed by any political or special interest groups, and to protect our editorial integrity, we accept no advertising. We are sustained solely by you. Please support The Patriot Fund today!


The Patriot Post and Patriot Foundation Trust, in keeping with our Military Mission of Service to our uniformed service members and veterans, are proud to support and promote the National Medal of Honor Heritage Center, the Congressional Medal of Honor Society, both the Honoring the Sacrifice and Warrior Freedom Service Dogs aiding wounded veterans, the Tunnel to Towers Foundation, the National Veterans Entrepreneurship Program, the Folds of Honor outreach, and Officer Christian Fellowship, the Air University Foundation, and Naval War College Foundation, and the Naval Aviation Museum Foundation. "Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:13)

★ PUBLIUS ★

“Our cause is noble; it is the cause of mankind!” —George Washington

Please join us in prayer for our nation — that righteous leaders would rise and prevail and we would be united as Americans. Pray also for the protection of our Military Patriots, Veterans, First Responders, and their families. Please lift up your Patriot team and our mission to support and defend our Republic's Founding Principle of Liberty, that the fires of freedom would be ignited in the hearts and minds of our countrymen.

The Patriot Post is protected speech, as enumerated in the First Amendment and enforced by the Second Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, in accordance with the endowed and unalienable Rights of All Mankind.

Copyright © 2024 The Patriot Post. All Rights Reserved.

The Patriot Post does not support Internet Explorer. We recommend installing the latest version of Microsoft Edge, Mozilla Firefox, or Google Chrome.