Things I Hate
In compiling all the things that offend me, I’m not sure where to start or if I have the time or space to get to all of them. But let’s give it a shot. I hate computer passwords. I hate having to keep track of unrelated letters and numbers just so that I won’t be hacked. The thing is, everything I have to say about anything is stuff I write about. Besides, as we’ve seen with secret federal websites, if someone wants in, they’re going to crack the code even if it’s as complicated as my dog’s name spelled backwards. And inasmuch as I’m not silly enough to do banking online, the only thing those passwords are good for is driving me nuts if I happen to forget one.
In compiling all the things that offend me, I’m not sure where to start or if I have the time or space to get to all of them. But let’s give it a shot.
I hate computer passwords. I hate having to keep track of unrelated letters and numbers just so that I won’t be hacked. The thing is, everything I have to say about anything is stuff I write about. Besides, as we’ve seen with secret federal websites, if someone wants in, they’re going to crack the code even if it’s as complicated as my dog’s name spelled backwards. And inasmuch as I’m not silly enough to do banking online, the only thing those passwords are good for is driving me nuts if I happen to forget one.
I despise people who never have to say “Thank you” for the charity they receive. When it comes to them from the state or federal government, the politicians expect acknowledgment; not in words, though, but in the form of votes.
When the charity comes to them from organizations, it tends to arrive anonymously. I believe that recipients should always know the names of their benefactors so they have the opportunity to voice their appreciation. I know there are those who think that charity should be anonymous; I just happen to disagree. It is a reason that I believe the best form of charity is one-on-one or as close to that as possible.
I have contempt for those who compare a proposed wall or barrier at the Mexican border with the Berlin Wall. The Russians built a wall to keep East Germans in, not to keep West Germans out. It’s the difference between the wall around your house and the one around San Quentin. And anyone who pretends otherwise is someone with a financial, political or religious, stake in lying about the facts.
I hate liberals who preach free speech and the sanctity of the First Amendment, except, as you may have noticed, when it comes to speech with which they disagree. Conservatives believe in freedom of speech, religion and conscience; for their part, liberals believe in free stuff because materialism is at the root of everything they say or do.
I hold those in contempt who pretend that because Donald Trump is often rude and boastful, he is worse than Hillary Clinton, a woman who has spent a quarter of a century in the public eye and has nothing on her resume that doesn’t involve greed and lies. She was a Secretary of State who used an illegal private server for no other reason than to prevent scrutiny of the corrupt Clinton Foundation, even though she knew it would jeopardize national security and the lives of those working on America’s behalf in some of the most dangerous places on earth.
She denied the additional security that Ambassador Chris Stevens spent months begging for, and then compounded her sin by lying about the Benghazi massacre simply because it would have conflicted with the lies Barack Obama was telling during his re-election campaign, bragging about how he had singlehandedly defeated al Qaeda.
I hated those ignoramuses who failed, mainly through sheer incompetence, to pull off the military coup in Turkey and free that nation and the world of its Islamic despot, Recep Erdogan. In pulling off a coup, the first thing you do is kill the head. The body will then fall into line. What you don’t do is wait for the monster to go on vacation and then hope for the best.
I despise every politician, particularly those with an (R) after their name, who gets his opinions from the NY Times and the Washington Post. That isn’t where their constituents get their news and they should quit subscribing. The problem isn’t merely that the mission statement for both papers is to provide a bullhorn for the DNC. It’s that GOP politicians seem unable to recognize the obvious con when they find themselves being praised in its pages. For instance, during the 2008 primaries, the Times called John McCain a statesman, and it went straight to his tiny head. As a result, during the general election, he refused to even let his campaign draw a connection between Barack Obama and his religious mentor, the odious Jeremiah Wright. It struck him that it wouldn’t be statesmanlike to tell the truth about a political opponent.
As is often the case, there is great wisdom to be found in “The Wizard of Oz.” It’s easy to see how the Scarecrow and the Tin Man, who respectively lacked a brain and heart, could serve as stand-ins for the Democrats, and how the Cowardly Lion, who was scared stiff at the unexpected sight of his own tail, could serve as the perfect symbol of the GOP.
I have a special hatred for judges who let rapists off with light sentences because they don’t wish to ruin some young man’s life. Whenever I hear that excuse offered after some creep in a black robe has essentially signed on to be the rapist’s defense attorney, I have found myself wondering how it is that the judge has managed to lose total sight of the actual victim in the case.
Because it has happened so frequently, I have had the opportunity to give the question a great deal of thought. What I have concluded is that these judges all committed rapes of their own in the past, and because they obviously got away with it, they would regard themselves as hypocrites were they to dole out the sort of justice called for by this vilest of crimes.
I have also decided that over the years, they have dealt with their own guilt by diminishing the true nature of the offense and eventually deciding it wasn’t such a big deal, after all.
Speaking of stupid, Joe Biden announced, based on something he must have heard rattling around in his head, that Donald Trump would have loved Joseph Stalin. Although Biden is certainly old enough to remember, it may have slipped his mind that it was Franklin Delano Roosevelt, the Democratic icon, who made no secret of the fact that he very much preferred “Uncle Joe” Stalin to Winston Churchill.
While it is true that Trump hasn’t spoken as harshly of Vladimir Putin as I would like, someone should remind the Vice-President that it wasn’t Mr. Trump who told Putin he would be more flexible after being re-elected. It wasn’t Mr. Trump who giggled while pushing the re-set button with Russia. And it certainly wasn’t Mr. Trump whose cowardly reluctance to face down Putin has resulted in Russia’s moving aggressively into Crimea, Ukraine and Syria, over the past few years.
I’m reminded of a message I received that pointed out that when you’re dead, you won’t know you’re dead; that the real pain is experienced by others. And, if you think about it, the same holds true when you’re stupid.
As you know from a previous column, I have despised the Olympics since I was a kid, and nothing that’s taken place over the past 70 years has improved my opinion of the event. If anything, I dread it more than I used to because I’ve now lived through so many of these quadrennial disasters.
I know that a lot of people look at, say, young Olympic gymnasts and swimmers and admire their dedication and discipline. I find it a tad difficult to see teenagers who have devoted so many hours to swinging on bars and splashing in pools as exemplary human beings. I suppose it beats spending their lives posting photos on Facebook and communicating piffle 140-characters at a time on their electronic toys, but I can’t pretend that a medal handed out by a group as corrupt as the Olympic committee impresses me. I happen to put a lot more stock in those handed out to the youngsters serving in the U.S. military.
Speaking of the Olympics, one of the tawdriest moments of all took place in Rio when an Iranian refused to shake the hand of the Israeli who had bested him during the judo competition.
I took some comfort in imagining what his reward would be when he returned to Tehran and tried to explain losing to a Jew.
Now, turning to something I loved, some of you may recall that I raved about Orson Bean’s one-man show after seeing him perform in Venice, California. At the time, I urged you to buy a ticket if he took the show on the road and came to your town.
I’m still urging you to see it, but now you don’t have to leave your house and plunk down good money. Being a benevolent sort, and a conservative, to boot, my friend has decided to let you see it for free. All you have to do is pay a visit to YouTube. And for those of you who are as unfamiliar with YouTube as I am, he has also made it available on his website, orsonbean.com.
I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as my wife and I did. Actually, I’m guessing you’ll enjoy it even more because it’s free and you won’t have to drive 25 miles and then try to find a parking space.
