Burt Prelutsky / February 13, 2017

And the Bleats Go On

According to deep thinker Whoopi Goldberg: “We have a leader who’s repeatedly demeaned women, wants to defund organizations that benefit women, calling on the media to shut up, specifically wants to give preferential treatment based on religion. Are these values really much different than the Taliban’s?”

According to deep thinker Whoopi Goldberg: “We have a leader who’s repeatedly demeaned women, wants to defund organizations that benefit women, calling on the media to shut up, specifically wants to give preferential treatment based on religion. Are these values really much different than the Taliban’s?”

Let us analyze that statement. Assuming she’s referring to President Trump, he has repeatedly hired and promoted women in his companies and relies heavily on the advice and counsel of his daughter Ivanka and Kellyanne Conway. The organization he wishes to defund is the number one abortion mill in America. The religion he wishes to give preferential treatment to is Christianity, the leading religion in America; the religion he’s not so crazy about is the one that’s creating chaos and violence around the world. At least I’ve never heard anyone shout “Jesus is great!” before beheading anyone or exploding a suicide bomb in a school or a café.

Had Whoopi had Miss Mariet Lamb for 10th grade English, she would know that she should have asked “Are these values really much different from the Taliban’s?” And if she weren’t such a totally clueless twit, she would understand how utterly stupid and insulting her question is. But just for the record, Donald Trump has never killed an American soldier, he has never performed a clitorectomy on a young girl and he has never stoned a woman to death for appearing in public without a veil.

Writer Matt Walsh wonders if we began referring to unborn babies as “fetal refugees,” whether feminists and other leftists would begin caring about them.

But Whoopi isn’t the only celebrity moron mouthing inanities. Not even on “The View,” where fellow airhead Joy Behar recently tried to get Dr. Phil McGraw to diagnose President Trump as a narcissist. The joke is that if narcissism were a capital offense, the entire panel of “The View” would vanish overnight.

But Whoopi and Ms. Behar are not alone. Cher and a coterie of Hollywood types have also concluded, against all odds, that narcissism is a sin and that Trump is the world’s worst offender. And kettles thought pots were bad when it came to name-calling!

For those unfamiliar with the Greek myth, Narcissus was widely admired for his beauty, by nobody more than himself. One day, while gazing into a pond, he caught a glimpse of himself and became so enamored that he couldn’t bring himself to leave. Eventually, he lost the will to live, and died of self-love. I can only imagine that mirrors and movie cameras hadn’t been invented yet.

But, clearly, if the young man were alive today, he’d be working in Hollywood and would feel entitled to call the President a slave to his vanity.

For years, feminists and the media have proclaimed college campuses a happy hunting ground for rapists. They have repeatedly claimed that a coed has a one-in-five chance of being raped during her four years on campus. A new study claims that her risk is closer to one-in-a-hundred. Still, far too many. But the study discovered that in a high percentage of cases, the sex started out as consensual, but the next day, when regrets, along with sobriety, begin to set in, the coed decides she must have been raped. After all, that’s what her friends and feminist professors call it, so it must be so.

Okay, I don’t want to wash my dirty laundry in public, but when I was younger, make that much younger, I had my own share of regrets. But let’s not kid ourselves. When some young hussy plied me with sweet talk and liquor, I knew darn well what she was after. And you can call it chivalry or just plain good manners, but no matter how remorseful I may have felt the next morning, I never snitched on her or called her a sexual predator.

Speaking of college life, liberal icon Janet Napolitano, formerly Obama’s head of Homeland Security and an ex-governor of Arizona, is currently the University of California president. She is held up as an example to mediocrities everywhere that even the biggest dud can achieve wealth and prestige if she plays her cards right. But now, it seems, she has stuck her big foot in it. She is trying to defend the fact that she is outsourcing high tech university jobs currently held by nearly a hundred racially-diverse people to India. It seems the Indians are willing to do the jobs for 75% less money.

There are fewer things more pleasurable than seeing progressives confronted by reality and responding exactly the way they condemn conservatives for behaving. Shakespeare would have said she was hoist on her own petard. But considering how enormous Mrs. Napolitano is, he might have suggested she was hoist not only on her own petard, but several other people’s.

I was sorry to hear Trump warn Israel not to begin constructing any new settlements because it could endanger the peace process. Whenever people refer to that elusive process, I wonder if they’ve also sighted Big Foot or a gathering of unicorns lately. To be fair, Israel’s mistake was in ever referring to housing developments as settlements. The word itself has an air of impermanence to it.

Their second major faux pas was ever trading their land in the hope of obtaining peace. One, you should never pay extortionists, especially extortionists who have vowed to exterminate you. Two, a small nation should never trade land for anything. It only makes them smaller and weaker, not more peaceful.

Inasmuch as Jews have reputations for being smart negotiators, I find it amazing that the so-called Palestinians keeprobbing them blind. I understand that Obama and his fellow socialists in Europe and at the UN, are deeply anti-Semitic, but that’s all the more reason that Israel should stop playing the sucker in this peace charade.

And Trump shouldn’t be buying in to the moral equivalence lie that the Left has been perpetrating for the last few decades. There is no moral equivalence between a Jewish nation that is home to over 1.6 million Arabs, and the Palestinians who have chosen to be ruled by Jew-hating terrorists tied to Hamas and Hezbollah.

When I recently got word that George Orwell’s “1984” is headed to Broadway as a musical this summer, my immediate reaction was to curse Rodgers and Hammerstein. While it’s true that the die was cast some years earlier by the team of Kern and Hammerstein with “Show Boat,” it was the later team that pretty much sounded the death knell for musical-comedies.

I’m not saying they didn’t write great songs, but they kicked comedy in the pants in favor of shows that never stopped sermonizing. Sam Goldwyn was alleged to have said that if someone wanted to send a message, he should utilize Western Union, not the movies.

Clearly, Rodgers and Hammerstein never received that message in New York.

So far as I’m concerned, if I want to be preached to, I’ll go to church, not a theatre.

Thanks to their influence, it’s just dumb luck that such comedies as “Guys & Dolls,” “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum,” “How to Succeed in Business” and “Annie,” managed to make it to Broadway over the past 70 years.

I admired their musical talent, and I wouldn’t wish them to suffer any physical pain, but if Rodgers and Hammerstein had to spend a few years in Purgatory sitting through the likes of “Miss Saigon,” “Rent,” “Phantom of the Opera,” “Cats” and “Les Miz,” eight or nine hundred times, I don’t think it would do their eternal souls any lasting harm, and the punishment would definitely fit the crime.

In 1928, a great many Americans were scared stiff by the prospect of Al Smith, a Catholic, becoming president. The hyperventilating among the anti-papist crowd was not dissimilar to the way today’s pinheads have been reacting to Trump’s election, although they didn’t go in so much for crying and burning things back then.

Because I admire wit and pithiness in political commentary, I have always admired the telegram allegedly sent by Will Rogers to the Pope when Smith lost the election to Herbert Hoover: “Unpack.”

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