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Burt Prelutsky / Feb. 1, 2010

Debunking Liberalism and Islam

Recently, a conservative I know suggested that it would be great if all the liberals packed up and moved to, say, France. Although I happen to have a few liberal friends and I would surely miss them, I certainly endorse and second his motion.

Recently, a conservative I know suggested that it would be great if all the liberals packed up and moved to, say, France. Although I happen to have a few liberal friends and I would surely miss them, I certainly endorse and second his motion.

Over night, the rest of us could start believing what we read in the newspapers and we could start electing people who didn’t think their first order of business was to go around the world apologizing to a bunch of ne'er-do-wells for America’s alleged sins.

We could once again have public school teachers who thought it more important to teach our young kids how to read and write than how to slip a prophylactic on a banana, and professors who would encourage our older kids to think for themselves and not simply parrot left-wing propaganda.

In no time at all, as if the country had entered a time machine, we would find ourselves in a land that honored members of the U.S. military more than those various self-aggrandizing sots and sex addicts who populate the U.S. Senate and, what’s more, we’d pay them more.

If all our left-wingers wound up on the Left Bank, not only would we avoid the risk of electing ex-community organizers who have an unnatural reluctance to call Islamic terrorists by their rightful name, but we’d all have a much easier morning commute and a far easier time finding parking spaces.

Speaking of jihadists, a reader asked me the other day if I believed we could win the war against the Islamists. I said I thought we could, but it wouldn’t be quick and it wouldn’t be easy. Which are two reasons that liberals wouldn’t be interested.

First, we would need to finally have a commander-in-chief willing to bite the bullet, toss political correctness to the wind, and acknowledge that a state of war exists. Next, we’d need a Congress that would join with the president in making a formal declaration.

After that, we would need to stop worrying about what the Koran says or doesn’t say. We wouldn’t be going to war against that book any more than we went to war against “Mein Kampf.” So whether the Koran calls us a bunch of pigs and monkeys or whether it says that Muslims have a duty to lie to infidels if it’s to their advantage is neither here nor there. Our war would be waged against those who have been trying to kill us for the past few decades, not against some words on paper.

To those who insist that most Muslims are not looking to murder anyone, I say, fine – then they can lend us a hand. Let them join the underground and help us root out the bad guys and kill them. Let them join the resistance, as many people did during World War II in France, Holland, Norway and even in Germany.

Next we have to stop worrying so much about collateral damage and about the alleged sanctity of mosques. We also have to stop worrying about immediately rebuilding every damn thing we just knocked down.

We can win this war when we stop fretting about whether we’re being discourteous when we stop members of Al Qaeda from flying to Detroit, when we stop concerning ourselves with whether everyone likes us and concentrate on making certain that our enemies fear us.

We can win this war when the countries that act as sponsors and sanctuaries for the terrorists start seeing their capitals bombed and when self-proclaimed war lords in Pakistan and Afghanistan are reminded that they’re nothing more than two-bit thugs with fancy titles.

We can win this war when our national leaders stop reminding us that most Muslims are not terrorists and, instead, remind themselves that most Russians, Chinese and Cambodians, weren’t Communists, most Germans weren’t Nazis and most Italians weren’t fascists. The fact remains that most of them not only did nothing to prevent Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, Hitler and Mussolini, from drenching the earth in oceans of blood, but performed most of the dirty work for them.

Some people say that Barack Obama isn’t even constitutionally entitled to be president. Other people, with absolutely no documentation to back them up, insist that he was born in Hawaii. For my part, I keep waiting for the courts to settle this matter. But in the meantime, it’s enough for me that he went to Egypt and Turkey and rhapsodized about the magnificent contributions that Muslims made in establishing the United States. Which, in case you happened to miss school that day, is a matter of historical record, unlike Obama’s birth certificate, medical records and passport. Most of us, I’m sure, are well aware that America was created in accord with Judeo-Christian-uh-Muslim principles. Proof of this is that, no matter where you go in the Muslim world, you will find freedom of speech, assembly and, most of all, religion.

Obama never lets an opportunity go by when he doesn’t say respectful, even loving words about Islam. They are not, oddly enough, sentiments I have heard him direct to devout Christians. Instead, I seem to recall his ridiculing them as those folks who cling to their religion and their guns.

Not too long ago, we were told time and again that the man was the messiah. Now, after a catastrophic year that has included cash for clunkers; a soaring national deficit; cap and trade; bribes for senators in order to push through CastroCare; more and bigger lies about global warming; closing Gitmo as a PR stunt; trying enemy combatants in civilian courts; and filling his administration with tax cheats, Socialists and Communists; he’s shown himself to be far less a messiah and far more a mess.

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