Burt Prelutsky / May 5, 2018

A Basket of Despicables

One of the best things about Donald Trump’s victory over Hillary Clinton is that it served to remind us that, in spite of a corrupt press; an education system that is dominated by the Left; a popular culture (TV, movies, magazines and social media) that is run by and for liberals; and a party that can always rely on deep-pocketed billionaires like George Soros, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg; there are still enough clear-thinking Americans around to turn over their apple cart.

One of the best things about Donald Trump’s victory over Hillary Clinton is that it served to remind us that, in spite of a corrupt press; an education system that is dominated by the Left; a popular culture (TV, movies, magazines and social media) that is run by and for liberals; and a party that can always rely on deep-pocketed billionaires like George Soros, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg, there are still enough clear-thinking Americans around to turn over their apple cart.

Although I keep trying to tell myself that all liberals aren’t out to destroy the nation, I find I can’t quite persuade myself. That’s because they are not only wrong on every single issue but they tell so many lies. People can be mistaken, but when they themselves lie or pretend to believe the obvious lies of others, they’re not merely misguided, they’re evil.

For instance, because it’s so imperative to feminist zealots to portray men in the worst light possible, they pretend to believe that one in three or four coeds will be raped during her four years in college (statistics you probably wouldn’t believe in a war zone), and yet they continue to encourage their own daughters to attend college.

Speaking of hypocrites, James Comey said that although there’s not a chance in the world that Mrs. Comey would ever believe it if a dossier turned up claiming that while in Moscow he had invited Russian prostitutes to come to his hotel room and urinate on him, he figured there was a chance that Melania would believe it of her husband. Before I jumped to any conclusions, I checked with my wife and asked if she would believe it of me. She assured me she wouldn’t.

When Comey was then asked if he believed it of President Trump, he said he thought it was possible. Which is exactly the sort of weaselly answer you would expect from him. It’s possible? I suppose it’s also possible that in a certain light, I look like Brad Pitt. It’s possible that if I jumped off a cliff and waved my arms, I could fly. Heck, it’s even possible that Hillary Clinton is the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Okay, granted, some things are more plausible than others.

Eric Holder, the only attorney general in American history to have ever been cited for contempt of Congress, said “James Comey is an honest man who made a few mistakes.”

For the record, others have said similar things about Al Capone, Joseph Stalin and Pontius Pilate.

The only attorney general ever cited for contempt of Congress is rumored to be considering a run for the presidency in 2020. It could make for a fascinating primary if those likely to toss their hats in the ring actually wind up including Holder, Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, Tom Perez, Kamala Harris, Andrew Cuomo, Bill DiBlasio, Adam Schiff and Cory Booker. If they were all on a debate stage together, it would be reminiscent of the bar scene in the original “Star Wars.” The only thing missing would be someone with tentacles and three eyes. But even that could be covered if Mrs. Clinton decides to give it one more try.

Having finished reading Ron Kessler’s The Trump White House, I got back to Peter Schweizer’s Secret Empires. I had left off after reading how the corrupt son of Joe Biden and the equally corrupt step-son of John Kerry have made their fortune by joining forces to cash in on the power and influence of their relatives. Now I discover that Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and his wife, Elaine Chao, who was secretary of labor under George W. Bush and is the secretary of transportation under Donald Trump, have not only increased their personal fortunes because of their close ties to China’s military-industrial complex through her father, but the ties have caused McConnell to radically transform his attitude towards the risk China poses to the U.S.

I wonder how many Republicans in Kentucky would re-elect McConnell if they had any idea how unlikely it is that Sen. McConnell would ever do, say or cast a vote that could possibly offend his business associates in Beijing.

To quote my wife, Yvonne: “All Americans should band together and boycott products labeled ‘Made in China.’ This act alone would send a powerful message that we’re tired of their stealing our intellectual properties. Cause and effect. We should not reward bad behavior. Not only that, but they’re dumping inferior products on us. If we boycotted their stuff, it wouldn’t call for an act of Congress, it would be the citizens rising up against unfair trade deals.

"The public needs to learn that ‘Made in the USA’ represents quality because goods are regulated here. That’s why foreign pet food, especially the uninspected stuff from China, kills our pets. It is not only unsafe and unwise to buy Chinese products, it’s not patriotic.”

I hope it’s not too late for you to save your time and money if you’re considering the movie titled “Chappaquiddick.” Assuming you know the facts related to Sen. Ted Kennedy’s driving his car off a narrow bridge, leaving his passenger Mary Jo Kopechne with the option of drowning or suffocating, the movie has nothing new to offer.

For one thing, it not only doesn’t divulge how Kennedy managed to escape from a car that was upside down in the water with closed doors and windows, but the characters in the movie don’t even theorize about the mystery. For another thing, it would have us believe that the party on Chappaquiddick Island that consisted of Kennedy, Kopechne, half a dozen middle-aged political hangers-on and half a dozen political groupies in their 20s, at which liquor flowed like, well, liquor, was as innocent at a sleepover involving seven-year-old Brownies.

The portrayal of Sen. Kennedy is disgustingly sympathetic. It presents him as something of a victim, the youngest of four sons who hungered for his father’s approval, and as a man who almost did the right thing until, at the last minute, he realized that if he didn’t let the Kennedy sycophants cover for him, his political career would be over and he might even go to jail.

But inasmuch as he neglected to report the accident for nine hours and initially wanted to claim that the young woman had been driving, and, in the aftermath, took to wearing an unnecessary neck brace for sympathy, the notion that he was a man wrestling with his soul fails to gain traction, no matter how often the director shows him sitting alone with a furrowed brow.

Those of you who haven’t quite finished making out your summer reading list will no doubt be interested to know that David Hogg and his kid sister Lauren have a book coming out in June titled Never Again. It will relate how these two wunderkinds survived the massacre at Stoneman Douglas High School. And if that’s not enough to wow you, they vow that the book’s profits will be used “to heal the community.” Although they don’t mention how.

I have learned a few things about the Hoggs along the way. They may or may not make it into the book, whose title makes a travesty of the Holocaust. David is a proud member of the ACLU. He tried to use his newfound fame to drive Laura Ingraham off the air for daring to be a member of the #NeverHogg movement. Now that his ego has expanded to planet-sized dimensions, he has announced to his Facebook followers: “Going to announce another boycott this week…Stay tuned!” It was accompanied by a smiley face and used a picture of Kermit the Frog to accompany the breathless message. It made me wonder if that wasn’t a copyright infringement and made me hope he would be hearing from Kermit’s lawyers.

I assumed that David wasn’t a self-made idiot and looked into who his parents are.

His father, Kevin, 51, retired from the FBI in 2014, and no doubt would have been in cahoots with Comey, McCabe and Strzok if he’d stuck around. His mother, Rebecca, who teaches in the Broward County School system, hates Trump so much that a year ago she shared the following message on Facebook: “I can’t be silent any more. I tried to be respectful during the election, but I can’t sit by and do nothing with what is going on currently in the USA. It’s horrifying. If you like what Trump is currently doing, please unfriendly or block me because you won’t like what I am going to post.”

For his part, David had this to say about mom and dad: “The reason my parents saved so much for my college is because both were kicked out of there house at 18 and had to pay their way through college.”

I understand the kid is supposed to be brilliant, but here he is at 18 and still confusing “there” for “their.”

Without the slightest intention of being ironic, David has said that the thing he most admires about his father is that he can see both sides of an issue. That being the case, it’s hard to believe that his son is arrogant enough to assume that he, a teenager, is right about the Second Amendment, and all the rest of us are not only wrong but evil.

Which reminds me, I have a bone to pick with William Shakespeare, who, you might recall, wrote: “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not be false to any man.”

Lots of people are true to themselves but they lie to other people. They tell themselves that their falsehoods are justified because they’re good people and they know best. Such people often pursue careers in politics or journalism.

I used to be convinced that John Kerry looked more like a horse than anything could that lacked hooves and a tail. But that was before Robert Mueller trotted onto the scene.

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