Burt Prelutsky / October 29, 2018

The Midterm IQ Test

I really don’t believe polls these days, but it’s still disconcerting to hear that the House will probably be under the thumb of Nancy Pelosi starting in January.

I really don’t believe polls these days, but it’s still disconcerting to hear that the House will probably be under the thumb of Nancy Pelosi starting in January.

I keep asking myself why anyone would vote for a Democrat. Is it really enough to just hate Donald Trump because he’s boorish and tweets far too often? If that’s the case, why don’t these Never-Trumpers hate their own kids?

I’m serious. The kids, for the most part, haven’t done anything in their entire lives, include cleaning up after themselves or uttering a single word of gratitude for their housing, food, clothing, and electronic gadgets.

Donald Trump, on the other hand, has kick-started the comatose economy; made the Europeans start paying for their defense; got North Korea to stop firing missiles in Japan’s direction; got Mexico and Canada to revise our trade deals; moved our embassy to Jerusalem; tried valiantly to shut down our border to scofflaws, gangs, and drug smugglers; cut our taxes and brought jobs back to America; restarted essential industries, including steel, aluminum, oil, and coal; and placed two justices on the Supreme Court who take their marching orders from Jefferson, Adams, and Madison rather than from The New York Times, The Washington Post, and the ACLU.

Knowing all that, what possible reason would anyone have for electing those who have sworn to stop the Trump revolution in its tracks? Could it be, as Trump often predicted, that some people have simply gotten tired of winning?

Although Twitter and Google have banished Alex Jones and other conservatives from their platforms in violation of their free speech mission statements, nobody has yet dared banish Louis Farrakhan for comparing Jews to termites.

In the wake of Farrakhan’s disgusting comment, mouthpieces for Barack Obama and Keith Ellison have denied that either man has ever had a close relationship with the Chicago-based racist.

Even The Washington Post gave Ellison four Pinocchio’s for that lie.

As for Obama, who pretty much owes his political career to Farrakhan, Pinocchio kicked him in the butt while chanting: “Liar, liar, pants on fire!”

I was aware that senators and House members command staffs the size of some European armies, but until I got a recent email from my councilman who is retiring at the end of the year, I had no idea how huge these fiefdoms really are.

The councilman included a photo of himself surrounded by his loyal lackeys. I counted 20 people, and he’s only one of 15 council members here in LA.. Assuming all the staffs are this large, that makes 300 people I’m helping to support with my tax dollars.

Keep in mind, this is only a city councilman. I’m also paying for county supervisors, mayors, assemblymen, state senators, governors, U.S. senators, House members, federal bureaucrats, a vice president, and a president. The only one of the whole mob I don’t mind paying is President Trump, and he’s a billionaire who’s not accepting a salary.

The state of Louisiana is setting a good example for the rest of the country. Because Bank of America and Citicorp have both aligned themselves with those looking to abolish guns by refusing to offer loans to gun shop owners, the Bayou State has decided to exclude them from bidding on $600 million worth of state bonds. Inasmuch as the two banks underwrote $110 billion of municipal bonds in 2017, according to Patrick Krey, writing in The New American, Louisiana’s gesture is a drop in the bucket. But it’s still praise-worthy.

It also led me to wonder why, whenever a state or even just a city in a state does something that upsets liberals, they immediately announce a boycott. Then, before you know it, hundreds of groups announce they’re moving their meetings and conventions somewhere else. Sometimes, the mere threat of a boycott and the potential loss of tourist dollars is enough to make the cities and states back off.

So how is it one never hears about groups of conservatives threatening to pull their conventions out of, say, sanctuary cities and states?

When a governor or senator vows to get rid of ICE, why don’t we ever hear conservatives responding with threats of their own?

And why are conservatives still spending good money in places like Chicago and San Francisco? Neither the pizza nor the views are all that great.

Sometimes, it seems as if Hollywood celebrities are in competition not only for Oscars and Emmys but to say the stupidest thing of the week.

Keira Knightly announced that she won’t let her daughter watch such Disney classics as “Cinderella” and “The Little Mermaid” because their plots don’t jibe with the feminist playbook, in which it is written that women must never be dependent on men for anything.

Kirsten Bell accepted the challenge, declaring that she wouldn’t allow her daughter to see “Snow White.” The problem, Bell explained, was that Prince Charming had kissed Snow White without her consent. She ignored the fact that Ms. White had been cursed by a witch — who really was an honest-to-god feminist (no man kisses her with or without her consent, unless he wants to be turned into a toad) — and could only be brought out of a coma by the prince’s kiss.

A sidebar worth noting is that Knightly chose to unburden herself to a delighted Ellen DeGeneres, a lesbian who famously outed herself on her TV sitcom and who naturally led her demented audience in applauding the equally demented actress.

Bob Hunt sent me a picture of an angry pumpkin with flyaway yellow hair, captioned: “Scare a liberal! Trumpkin — make Halloween great again!”

Speaking of which, at a recent rally, President Trump summed up the political divide, telling the crowd: “Democrats mean mobs. Republicans mean jobs.”

A friend of mine let me know he was disappointed with the movie “First Man,” the story of Neil Armstrong.

I told him I was glad to hear I wouldn’t be missing anything because I had already decided to avoid it. “It’s enough that the director, Damian Chazelle, and the star, Ryan Gosling, had decided not to show the planting of the American flag on the Moon because they didn’t want anyone to get the idea that just because an American president had decided to beat the Soviet Union to the Moon; American scientists and engineers had figured out how to do it; American astronauts had risked their lives to complete the mission; and American taxpayers had picked up the tab; it wasn’t really about America and Americans.

"It’s bad enough when a movie intentionally ignores well-documented history, but when you do it because a couple of Hollywood pinheads don’t want to offend globalists, it’s an abomination and I can only hope the movie crashes and burns at the box office.”

Jerry Herrera felt that in light of her genealogical report, Trump might no longer be able to refer to Elizabeth Warren as Pocahontas but might have to change her nickname to Lie-a-watha.

I told him I didn’t think Trump would have to change a thing. “After all, in Spanish, ‘poca’ means little….although not usually something as little as 1/1024th.”

Just in case anyone is interested in getting his hands on a DVD of a movie I wrote and co-produced, “Angels on Tap,” it is now available. The comedy starring Jamie (“MASH”) Farr, Marion (“Happy Days”) Ross, Ed (“Mary Tyler Moore” Asner, Ron (“Murder She Wrote’) Mazak, and Alan ("L.A. Law”) Rachins can be yours by sending a $20 check to me at 16604 Dearborn St., North Hills, CA 91343-3604. With Christmas just right around the corner, $50 will get you three.

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