Now that Kristen Gillibrand has officially announced that she is joining the other 4,000 Democrats seeking the presidential nomination next year, I think it might be time for me to join the fray.

The main drawback is that I hate traveling, so having to fly to Iowa and then New Hampshire would be a royal pain, but for the sake of the nation I just might do it.

Understand, I don’t want to be elected. I just want to make certain that nobody will be in a position to defeat Donald Trump. And who better to take a dive than someone like me?

My chances of getting the nomination may at first strike you as impossible. But let me remind you that the potty-mouthed Muslim, Rashida Tlaib, managed to be elected in an overwhelmingly black Detroit congressional district when she ran against four black candidates in the Democratic primary. Because they split up nearly 70% of the votes, Ms. Tlaib made it to the general election with just 31.2% of the vote.

Divide and conquer would also be my campaign strategy. Among those who have already announced they intend to run, you can already see deep fissures developing. The nutty Leftists hate the goofy Leftists, and the stupid Leftists hate the psychotic Leftists, and I despise them all. As I see it, that makes me the perfect compromise candidate.

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Unfortunately, it’s not only in Congress that these nutty, goofy, stupid, psychotic wretches are to be found. As often as not, you will find them wearing black robes where they can be every bit as annoying as Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi when it comes to obstructing the President’s more rational decisions.

Judge Jesse Furman, an Obama appointee, recently denied the Commerce Department’s request to allow its census takers to ask census respondents whether they are American citizens. Furman decided that was a racist question because illegal aliens living in Latino households would be reluctant to admit being here.

To most sane people, the fact that it’s the census that determines how much federal money and how many congressional districts are allotted to each state would seem to be more important than whether people who don’t belong here are discomforted.

Even some immigration attorneys are now admitting that the number of illegal aliens either working or collecting welfare is probably twice the 11 million number the Democrats have been tossing around since the 90s. That would mean that certain states that are ripe with illegal aliens could have as many as 30 congressional districts they’re not legally entitled to have. It also means those states are receiving billions of dollars that belong to the rest of us.

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In other confounding news, Don Lemon, James Clapper, John Brennan and Carl Bernstein, are among the CNN and MSNBC stooges promoting the fiction that Donald Trump is a pawn of the Russians.

Their proof is that he has suggested more than once that the U.S. resign from NATO. Inasmuch as I agree, I guess I’m also a pawn of the Kremlin, but at least with my last name, those idiots could make a stronger case against me than against the President.

Does anyone who’s not collecting a salary from one of those cable networks actually believe that Russia is plotting to invade the 28-nation organization?

Rep. Jackie Speier went so far as to claim that President Trump would be committing treason if he tried to stop funding NATO, even though we pick up 51% of its cost, while the other 27 freeloaders pay the remaining 49%. Worse yet, only five other members are coughing up the agreed-upon 2% of their GDP. They are Greece, the U.K., Estonia, Poland and Romania.

Why should the United States be carrying most of the water for the likes of Germany, France, Spain, Italy and Sweden, paying more to defend these snooty Socialists than they do to defend themselves?

It’s not as if the Germans, the French, the Spaniards, the Italians and the Swedes, have come to our defense and paid for a wall.

After all, Russia has shown precious little inclination to invade any of them, but Honduras, to name just one of our many existential enemies, is clearly invading us one caravan at a time.

On top of everything else, only 38% of the French and 30% of the Germans approve of America. So, the frogs and the krauts are not only shameless freeloaders, but they’re ingrates to boot.

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The former secretary of Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman, while testifying at his trial, ratted out the ex-president of Mexico, Enrique Peña Nieto, claiming he had accepted well over $100 million in bribes for allowing Guzman to continue conducting his dirty business without fear of arrest.

But we shouldn’t imagine that Senor Nieto pocketed all those pesos. I’m sure he felt obligated to share some of it with various Mexican mayors and police captains.

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Picking up on a suggestion I recently made, a Fox producer visited the homes of Barack Obama and George Soros just to make sure they didn’t have any of those immoral and inefficient walls around their property. At Obama’s home in our nation’s capital, he not only found a concrete barrier, but police cars and a Secret Service booth in the driveway.

At the Soros estate in New York, he found a 10-foot wall. I’m sure Mr. Soros was as surprised as anyone to find out it was there.

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It was one of those occasions that conservatives can usually only fantasize about. A black left-wing activist named Areva Martin was haranguing talk radio host David Webb, dismissing his rational arguments by pointing out he didn’t know what he was talking about because his white male privilege blinded him to the facts.

She was stopped in mid-harangue when he calmly identified himself as a black man. It was the verbal equivalent of those cartoon characters who take several steps off a cliff before realizing where they are, before plummeting to the ground below.

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In case you’re fortunate enough to have never heard of a website calling itself #ShoutYourAbortion, “where people are encouraged to share their abortion experiences without sadness, shame or regret,” your luck just ran out.

For openers, anyone who has undergone an abortion, should experience at least one of these very human emotions.

But not according to abortion activist Amelia Bonow, who shot a video of herself telling a couple of pre-teen girls that abortions are a part of God’s plan. Ms. Bonow goes on to explain that she had gotten pregnant and decided she didn’t wish to give birth. She then went on to say, and I quote: “They put this little straw in your cervix…in your womb…and they suck your pregnancy out. It’s like a dentist appointment.”

Well, as the mouse said to the elephant with whom he was about to have sex, where to start?

One, how is it that a grown woman in 2019 doesn’t have the slightest idea how to avoid getting pregnant?

Two, the item being sucked out apparently like a chocolate ice cream soda, is not a pregnancy, it’s a human being even if certain people object, for obvious reasons, to calling it a baby.

The upside to her revolting video is that most people hate going to the dentist, so her vile presentation may have the opposite effect from the one she had in mind.

Ms. Bonow is such a weird and spooky creature, she has the word “abortion” tattooed on the inside of her lower lip.

Which must scare the hell out of the poor unsuspecting dental hygienist who’s working on her fangs for the first time.