I don’t have any daughters, but if I did, I’d assure them that they could grow up to be anything they wanted to be, except male.

It was such a short time ago that was a given. But not any longer, when even small children are being told to ignore their biology. The screwballs who are today’s maniacal social engineers don’t seem to grasp the fact that if a little girl says she wants to be a boy or a little boy says he’d like to be a little girl, the likeliest explanation is that the girl thinks boy’s games are more fun and the boy notices that little girls get more affection. It does not mean that they’re signing up for surgical mutilation.

But those on the Left have been meddling in people’s lives and trying to dictate their destinies for almost as long as I can remember.

My late wife carried with her a lifelong resentment of people like Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem who dismissed stay-at-home moms as a drag on society, as dim-witted goldbricks who preferred raising decent kids to fighting it out in the dog-eat-dog world of the so-called real world.

Although I understand that a lot of women want to work outside the home or need to do so in order to provide food and shelter for themselves and their children, I also know that a great many do so because they’ve been brainwashed into believing that lavishing their children with over-priced luxuries and expensive vacations count for more than their personal time and attention.

It’s a shame that several generations of women have been raised in this perverse culture to believe that not only can they do everything men can do, but that they should do everything men can do.

Otherwise, so the constant message goes, there must be something seriously wrong with them.

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Because I don’t like to let my mistakes pass uncorrected, when writing about a TV commercial I caught in which some part of a jellyfish turned out to be the secret ingredient to a higher IQ, I misidentified Prevagen as Pervagen. Because so many of these products have similar names, I didn’t want to be guilty of sending someone to the drug store looking to increase his brain power and winding up with a miracle cure for psoriasis.

My other faux pas was called to my attention by Ed Rolanty who let me know that I had misspelled the first name of Trump’s Homeland Security Director, Kirstjen Nielsen. I forgot about that silly, totally unnecessary, “j.”

While I readily accept responsibility, I personally blame her parents for screwing up a perfectly fine name and, no doubt, condemning their daughter to a lifetime of having to correct people’s misspelling of her name. Unfortunately for Ms. Nielsen, that nitpicking busybody, Rolanty, isn’t always around to do the job.

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Netflix, which I have somehow managed to live without, just paid a record $10 million for a documentary about the 29-year-old who just might turn out to be Time Magazine’s Ditz of the Year, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

Part of the reason that the company was able to afford to pay that record sum was because in 2018, they made a profit of $845 million, and not only didn’t pay a dime in income taxes but received a $10 million “refund.”

I don’t care to subscribe to their shows, but I’d sure love to have their accountants.

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Speaking of Ocasio-Cortez, when Russ Mothershed sent me one of those gag lines attributed to her that have gone viral (as if her actual quotes aren’t bad enough), I pointed out that before anyone calls her dumb, they should consider the people in the Bronx who provided her with the scant 110,318 votes that were required to provide her with a national megaphone.

She’s now earning $175,000-a-year and they’re still living in the Bronx. And she’s the dummy?

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Although I confess I don’t quite grasp the depravity of white people wearing blackface, I also never understood why so-called Native Americans would object to sports teams calling themselves the Braves, the Chiefs, the Indians or the Redskins.

So far as I was concerned, the most famous person who often appeared in blackface was Al Jolson, and he was great. When I saw “The Jolson Story,” it never occurred to me that Jolie was insulting black people. And when I saw Fred Astaire dancing in blackface in “Swing Time,” I understood it was a tribute to Bill “Bojangles” Robinson.

Moreover, when the NAACP saw to it that “Amos ‘n’ Andy” was taken off TV, I understood that the group was filled with humorless, self-righteous, nincompoops who sent a bunch of terrific black actors, including the incomparable Tim (“Kingfish”) Moore, straight to the unemployment line.

But if appearing in blackface is as contemptible as the likes of Kamala Harris, Cory Booker and Kirsten Gillibrand claim it is, why are they focusing on a couple of Virginia officeholders and not going after Ted Danson, Susan Silverman, Joy Behar and, yes, even Hillary Clinton, who once showed up at a costume party with husband Bill; he decked out as a country bumpkin, she as a pickaninny.

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Ann Reid sent me a list of items she identified as fun facts. Well, we’ll see about that.

A rat can last longer without water than a camel. (Let’s put Robert Mueller to the test. My money’s on the camel.)

A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate. (Sounds like Harvey Weinstein’s defense attorney explaining that his client thought of actresses as ferrets, which so many of them are.)

A duck’s quack doesn’t echo. No one knows why. (Or cares.)

During the chariot scene in “Ben-Hur,” a small red car can be seen in the distance and Charlton Heston is wearing a watch. (Sorry, but nobody is going to fool me into sitting through that snoozearama ever again.)

Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear pants. (Quite often, Bill Clinton doesn’t either, but you don’t see anyone banning him from appearing in public.)

Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood. (Then it was the Oscars, these days it’s the performances.)

If one places a small amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death. (Sounds a lot like my Uncle Nathan.)

The original name for butterfly was flutterby. (Which, I think we’d all agree, was a much better name. Just like Kirsten is a much better name than Kirstjen.)

The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law which states that a man couldn’t beat his wife with anything wider than his thumb. (Which is where we came up with the notion that size matters.)

By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can’t sink into quicksand. (This is an obvious trick thought up by a masochist who wanted to see people try it. The trick is that if you could raise your legs slowly or any other way, you wouldn’t be in quicksand, you’d either be in a swimming pool or lying in bed.)

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. (But it will make your chewing gum taste like onions.)

Sherlock Holmes never said, “Elementary, my dear Watson.” (Oh, sure, next you’ll be telling us that Rick never said, “Play it again, Sam.”)

The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher. (So lick to your heart’s content, but don’t go swimming for at least an hour afterwards.)

By George, that was fun.