Burt Prelutsky / June 22, 2019

A Nation Divided

I have long despaired over the fact that our geography doesn’t allow us to separate into two nations—one liberal, the other conservative—the way it could have been handled prior to the Civil War, when the Mason-Dixon Line provided a perfect border.

I have long despaired over the fact that our geography doesn’t allow us to separate into two nations—one liberal, the other conservative—the way it could have been handled prior to the Civil War, when the Mason-Dixon Line provided a perfect border.

These days, the country is far more divided than it was when the issues were pretty much limited to slavery and taxation. The problem is that today we are divided about everything, including open borders, sanctuary cities, taxes, national defense, photo IDs, education, race relations, illegal drugs, welfare, the Trump presidency, even the number of actual sexes.

But even in states that are predominantly blue or red, there are those like myself and 16 million other Republicans in California who find ourselves at the mercy of 24 million Socialists.

The only solution that occurs to me is to divide ourselves into 50 separate nations, although there’s nothing to prevent blocs of states from merging, as might happen in the south, the northeast, most of the Midwest and the western seaboard.

Like European nations, all 50 could agree to do those things that were in their mutual interest but go their separate ways when they’re not.

We could issue passports or work visas to move from one nation to the other.

No question it would entail a massive amount of inconvenience, calling for millions of people to re-locate, but a lot of people, such as those 24 million California dunces, could stay put.

But massive migrations are nothing new. Millions of Arabs left Israel on the promise that after the Jews had been eliminated, they’d be able to return to homes and farms they had neither built nor created. There was also a massive exodus when Pakistan was carved out of India, providing a homeland for Muslims, while the Hindus all stayed put or moved east to India.

But at least after the break, we wouldn’t all wake up each day despising not only half the politicians, but half our neighbors.

Finally, it’s not as if moving hundreds or even thousands of miles would be a new experience for the tens of millions of us who do it to attend college, take a job or because of the weather.

In the long run, even in the short run, this particular move would be even more important than those others because it would result in reducing our stress level and our natural inclination to punch some idiot in the nose or toss a shoe at what passes for televised news.

Just the idea that a person could wear a MAGA hat or have a Trump bumper sticker on his car or speak his mind honestly without fear of reprisal, would, I have no doubt, add years of peace and contentment to our lives.

Someone recently let me know that she had never understood the enduring popularity of “Alice in Wonderland.” I felt as if I’d stumbled across a soulmate.

I understand why “Gulliver’s Travels,” the series of Oz books and even “Cinderella” are still being read and turned into movies.

But, “Alice in Wonderland” has always struck me as the literary equivalent of a bad LSD trip.

I recently saw a video compilation consisting of Elizabeth Warren, Beto O'Rourke, Kirsten Gillibrand, Bernie Sanders, Julian Castro and Kamala Harris, all genuflecting to Al Sharpton, promising to push for black reparations if they were to, God forbid, win the presidency.

Sen. Harris, who is half-black, half-white, didn’t mention if she figured to pay or collect.

That, alone, should be enough to preclude those people ever again being elected to high office. But, because there is no integrity on the Left, not even a smidgen, as Obama was wont to say, Democrats are never called to account.

For instance, John Brennan voted for a Communist, Gus Hall, in a presidential election, but still managed to become the head of the CIA.

John Kerry slandered his fellow Vietnam veterans, lied about his war injuries in order to collect Purple Hearts and then threw medals over the wall of the Pentagon, pretending they were his own. As it happens, he had his own framed and hung on his Senate office wall.

Al Sharpton slandered New York cops and incited a black mob to attack Jews.

Jesse Jackson displayed his own anti-Semitism by referring to New York City as Hymietown.

Joe Biden, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama, went on record announcing that illegal aliens had no place in America.

Jane Fonda consorted with the enemy.

And yet they paid no price, displayed no penance. However, when they lied about Brett Kavanaugh’s misbehavior as a teenager, they called for the 52-year-old to be lynched.

When I saw Never-Trumpers Don Lemon and Jim Acosta complimenting each other on being good, honest and objective, newsmen, as ready to put Democrats as Republicans on the hot seat, I couldn’t help but notice that neither laughed, winked or even cracked a smile. I haven’t seen acting that superbe since Emma Thompson and Anthony Hopkins lit up the screen in “Remains of the Day.”

The federal government is spending your tax dollars providing classes in grooming and makeup to illegal aliens who happen to be male transgenders. Their stated purpose is to help them appear at their feminine best.

Just because they’re here illegally and they’re biological males, the feds see no reason for them not to score high on the hubba-hubba meter.

Moreover, they are provided with free medical, dental and legal, services at their own detention center in New Mexico. They also have TVs, microwaves and a basketball court.

I would have assumed we already had more transvestites than we really needed. But, apparently you can never have enough of a weird thing.

In spite of the fact that the feds have run up another trillion dollars in debt this year, they have managed to buy two million drones from China, which are able to surveil the U.S. and send the data back to their Chinese masters.

When I recently questioned whether there was a single black officeholder in America who wasn’t a thug or a con artist or both, I heard from two readers. One mentioned Ben Carson, the Secretary of Housing & Urban Development, and the other named Tim Scott, one of South Carolina’s senators.

I have no argument with Carson but would point out that his is not an elective office. President Trump appointed him.

As for Tim Scott, inasmuch as he is the only black Republican in the Senate, you would think he would have a higher profile. But it turns out that not only has he not been responsible for any noteworthy legislation or ever said anything particularly insightful, the few times he has voiced a strong opinion, it’s been to object to various conservatives being named to the federal bench because of some passing remark from decades ago that Scott found racially insensitive.

I will be sorry to see Sarah Huckabee Sanders depart as Trump’s Press Secretary. She often stated Trump’s positions better than he has, but she explained that she is only leaving in order to devote more time to her three young children. She added that the major change she foresees is that she will be dealing with smarter questions and having more intelligent discussions than she ever did with the members of the White House press corps.

When I surmised that if it were men, not women, who had to endure childbirth, we would never have been born, Penny Alfonso, L.A.‘s generous gift to Chicago, let me know that she had always said that if men gave birth, the entire history of humankind would be Adam, Eve and Cain.

Based on my personal experience, I have found that not only when it comes to gifts is it better to give than to receive, but also when it comes to advice.

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