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Burt Prelutsky / Jul. 1, 2019

Segregationist Ghosts

You would have thought that Southern segregationists were long gone, but thanks to Joe Biden, James Eastland and Herman Talmadge are very much in the news once again.

You would have thought that Southern segregationists were long gone, but thanks to Joe Biden, James Eastland and Herman Talmadge are very much in the news once again.

By this time, you would have thought that racial segregation would be a thing of the past, but, thanks to black students on college campuses who don’t wish to live in the same dorms, take the same classes or share the same graduation exercises as everyone else, segregation is alive and well.

Blacks used to hate the notion of separate-but-equal, mainly because it wasn’t equal. It was always they who had to sit in the balcony, in the back of the bus and attend the worst schools. But now that the advantages in the form of Affirmative Action go to them, they don’t seem to find the practice the least bit objectionable.

I have to admit I was amused when MSNBC host Kasie Hunt assumed that Eastland, Talmadge, Orval Faubus, Albert Gore, Bull Connor and Strom Thurmond, were all Republicans. Thanks to having grown up on lies that concealed the fact that the KKK was created by the Democrats, that Jim Crow laws were passed and enforced by the Democrats, and that it was the Republicans who provided most of the votes required to pass the Civil Rights Act, how would she know otherwise? After all, she’s only 34 years old.

The two segregationists I despised the most were George Wallace and Robert Byrd, who were turned into iconic figures because later in life, they allegedly saw the light. Bull hockey! The only thing that changed was that with the passage of the Civil Rights Act, southern blacks got to vote, and the bigots had to go crawling to them for votes if they ever hoped to be re-elected.

If they had been re-born prior to 1964, that would have been noteworthy. After that, it amounted to nothing more than political survival.

Whenever I see Mark Zuckerberg addressing a congressional committee while wearing a suit, I picture little Markie at home, whining to his mom: “But why do I have to get all dressed up? Why can’t I wear my t-shirt and jeans like all the other cool kids?”

I believe the military is sending the wrong message when they put soldiers and Navy Seals on trial for murdering terrorists in war zones. Killing the bastards is why they’re over there and, if it’s not, we should get the hell out of those shitholes.

It’s not as if our Islamic enemies have even signed on to the Geneva Conventions. The oft-repeated cliché that “we’re better than that,” which should be retired along with “that’s not who we are as a people,” is sheer sophistry. Or undiluted pelosi, as I prefer to call it.

What matters is that our guys live and the other guys die. Anything else is the equivalent of our bringing a knife to a gunfight.

And it certainly doesn’t help that this is the same system of military justice that decided to give deserter Bowe Bergdahl a pass.

In a related matter, I didn’t believe the Pentagon when the brass announced that the American drone shot down by the Iranians wasn’t in their air space. Where else would it be? Clearly, it’s in our best interest to keep an eye on their expanding nuclear program. I just wish we didn’t feel the need to lie about it.

Although I sympathized with Kim Davis back in 2015, when, as the county clerk of Rowan, Kentucky, she refused to grant a marriage license to a same-sex couple, I felt she had the right to resign, but didn’t have the right to break the law.

But it’s different with Michael Kearns, the county clerk of Erie, New York. He is refusing to abide by the governor’s order to grant drivers licenses to illegal aliens or to register them to vote. Unlike Ms. Davis, he is obeying the law. It’s Governor Cuomo and his trained seals in Albany who are breaking it.

And it is high time that the Justice Department began indicting the governors, mayors and legislators, who are flouting the nation’s immigration laws by declaring themselves sanctuary cities and states. These scofflaws should have to pay the same price as those who commit espionage, bank fraud and tax evasion, even if they hold elected office. Make that especially if they hold elected office.

Perhaps it’s because I don’t watch the local news and never got into the habit of watching those early morning network shows, that when I tune in early to watch Bret Baier on Fox, I’m embarrassed by the panel on “The Five” who have to pretend to find each other so doggone hilarious and loveable. Greg Gutfeld isn’t hilarious and Juan Williams is definitely not loveable.

Medical researchers have confirmed that horns have begun growing out of the skulls of teenagers who spend too much time on their cell phones. I have long suspected that Satan had played a major role in creating these devices, but I never expected to have my suspicions confirmed in such dramatic fashion.

If I’m not mistaken, it’s still only June, 2019, and the elections are 17 months away. So I’m wondering if I’m the only person being hounded on my computer for campaign donations from all those Republican senators and House members who can never find the time to reply to my letters and email.

Except for athletics and entertainment, I can’t think of another career aside from politics in which truly ignorant people can reach the highest rung of success.

But it should come as no surprise. After all, how many intelligent people would even consider pursuing a life in politics after realizing they could end up spending more hours of their lives in the company of people like Nancy Pelosi, Jerry Nadler, Mazie Hirono, Maxine Waters, Steve Cohen, Susan Collins, Adam Schiff, Patty Murray, Elijah Cummings, A O-C, Lisa Murkowski, Rashida Tlaib and Eric Swalwell, than with their dogs?

Heck, just typing out those particular names was enough to give me a headache.

Speaking of ignorant people, things just keep getting worse for Joe Biden. First, the schmuck had to apologize for saying he thought Mike Pence was a decent guy. Next, he had to reverse himself on the Hyde Amendment. Then he had to apologize for saying he was able to get things done in the Senate even with old-time segregationists.

Finally, he took a good look in the mirror and realized that the hair plugs were falling out and that he was about to be as bald in his late 70s as he was in his early 40s.

Now he can’t get to sleep at night because he’s worried whether the white paint will soon begin peeling off his teeth.

At the rate things are going, by the time his campaign ends, Biden might go through the most horrifying transformation since Dorian Gray.

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