Patriots: For over 26 years, your generosity has made it possible to offer The Patriot Post without a subscription fee to military personnel, students, and those with limited means. Please support the 2024 Year-End Campaign today.

October 25, 2019

The Fall of Skywalker

Who knows? Maybe “The Rise of Skywalker” will bind all the tedious storylines of the first two “Star Wars” sequels into a cohesive and rewarding coda.

Who knows? Maybe “The Rise of Skywalker” will bind all the tedious storylines of the first two “Star Wars” sequels into a cohesive and rewarding coda. Then again, if the new trailer offers any clues — and as I understand it, this is point of trailers — the movie looks like it will ratchet up the fan service in hopes of saving an incomprehensible mess.

If someone asked you to cogently explain the narrative of the sequel trilogy, could you honestly do it? “The Last Jedi” has been on Netflix for months, and this lifelong fan — a fan who paid to see “The Revenge of the Sith” in theaters at least three times — hasn’t even been able to rewatch it once for free. To put that in perspective, I would rather binge entire seasons of an English baking show than sit through a $300 million sequel to my favorite childhood movie.

It’s not only that I don’t care one whit about the plot, it’s that I don’t care one whit about the characters either. Instead of the emperor, we have Snoke. Instead of Vader, we have Kylo. Instead of Luke, we have Rey. Instead of Han, we get both Finn and Poe. Instead of Yoda, we get Luke. Instead of R2-D2 we get BB-8. So on and so on. Not one of the stand-ins, many of them portrayed by talented actors, are nearly as compelling as the originals, many of whom were portrayed by terrible actors.

These failures might be forgivable if the space opera made any sense. Instead, we are left to watch characters spin their hyperdrives while J.J. Abrams performs a mercy killing of one original character per movie.

May they rest in peace.

It’s just incomprehensible that they could mess this up so badly. When I was 8 years old, I first sat in a movie theater and watched “Star Wars” (not yet “The New Hope”). It was probably the most exhilarating cultural experience of my youth. The story, the effects, the sound were all light years ahead of anything a kid could imagine. Much of my time from then on was spent convincing relatives to buy me Star Wars figures. I helped make George Lucas, who had famously kept the merchandising rights for his film, a zillionaire. And I guarded these toys with my life. Until I was around 12, my dream was to own one of those expensive Kenner Millennium Falcons. (If I could get away with it, I’d buy one today.)

Learning that Vader was Luke’s father had real emotional impact on this 10-year-old. I’ve wasted more time reading “Star Wars” “novels” than I care to admit. (Why didn’t they just use the “Thrawn” trilogy as a basis for the sequels?)

Even in my 20s, I was still legitimately excited by prospect of prequels. I remember waiting forever for “Phantom Menace” trailer to load on my dial-up connection and watching those Lucas creations emerging from the fog.

It was a short-lived thrill, of course. Though the opening scene of “The Phantom Menace,” displaying the power and prestige of Jedi cult, held some promise, my heart soon began to sink as the story submerged into trade negotiations (possible the most boring topic in the entire galaxy) and a discursive on midichlorians.

Why was Lucas wasting precious time explaining the genetics behind the Force? Why was he killing off the best characters (Qui-Gon Jinn and Darth Maul)? All of this happened a long time ago and somewhere far away, and much of it should be left to the imagination.

But Lucas, freed of any oversight, had somehow managed to create prequels that were simultaneously excessively convoluted and insultingly unsophisticated.

So some of us blamed Lucas, whose wooden dialogue and problems with pacing were well known. Some of us had high hopes for Abrams, who had deftly rebooted the “Star Trek” franchise while preserving the sensibilities of the original show. Some of us are constantly being disappointed. In the end, the most notable accomplishment of the sequels was making the prequels seem bearable.

I’m not completely bitter about the sale of Lucasfilm to Disney. “Rogue One” is one of the better films in the franchise. The animated shows are fun. And though many people will disagree, I find “Solo” preferable to either of the sequels or any of the prequels. My expectations for “The Mandalorian” are far higher than they are for “The Rise of Skywalker.”

Maybe the big reveal of “The Rise of Skywalker” will make it all worthwhile, but I doubt it. The thing is, I can’t get myself to really care who Rey’s parents are because I don’t care about Rey or anyone else. After a string of disappointments, I’m mostly just thankful the madness is coming to an end.

COPYRIGHT 2019 CREATORS.COM

Who We Are

The Patriot Post is a highly acclaimed weekday digest of news analysis, policy and opinion written from the heartland — as opposed to the MSM’s ubiquitous Beltway echo chambers — for grassroots leaders nationwide. More

What We Offer

On the Web

We provide solid conservative perspective on the most important issues, including analysis, opinion columns, headline summaries, memes, cartoons and much more.

Via Email

Choose our full-length Digest or our quick-reading Snapshot for a summary of important news. We also offer Cartoons & Memes on Monday and Alexander’s column on Wednesday.

Our Mission

The Patriot Post is steadfast in our mission to extend the endowment of Liberty to the next generation by advocating for individual rights and responsibilities, supporting the restoration of constitutional limits on government and the judiciary, and promoting free enterprise, national defense and traditional American values. We are a rock-solid conservative touchstone for the expanding ranks of grassroots Americans Patriots from all walks of life. Our mission and operation budgets are not financed by any political or special interest groups, and to protect our editorial integrity, we accept no advertising. We are sustained solely by you. Please support The Patriot Fund today!


The Patriot Post and Patriot Foundation Trust, in keeping with our Military Mission of Service to our uniformed service members and veterans, are proud to support and promote the National Medal of Honor Heritage Center, the Congressional Medal of Honor Society, both the Honoring the Sacrifice and Warrior Freedom Service Dogs aiding wounded veterans, the National Veterans Entrepreneurship Program, the Folds of Honor outreach, and Officer Christian Fellowship, the Air University Foundation, and Naval War College Foundation, and the Naval Aviation Museum Foundation. "Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:13)

★ PUBLIUS ★

“Our cause is noble; it is the cause of mankind!” —George Washington

Please join us in prayer for our nation — that righteous leaders would rise and prevail and we would be united as Americans. Pray also for the protection of our Military Patriots, Veterans, First Responders, and their families. Please lift up your Patriot team and our mission to support and defend our Republic's Founding Principle of Liberty, that the fires of freedom would be ignited in the hearts and minds of our countrymen.

The Patriot Post is protected speech, as enumerated in the First Amendment and enforced by the Second Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, in accordance with the endowed and unalienable Rights of All Mankind.

Copyright © 2024 The Patriot Post. All Rights Reserved.

The Patriot Post does not support Internet Explorer. We recommend installing the latest version of Microsoft Edge, Mozilla Firefox, or Google Chrome.