Burt Prelutsky / June 7, 2021

To Hell in a Handbasket

Why would anyone doubt that China unleashed the pandemic on purpose?

Sometimes, people ask me how I can write so often. The truth is, there is so much wickedness in the world, I feel like I keep falling behind.

For instance, Mara Liasson, who is the national political correspondent for NPR and is also a frequent Fox panelist, recently pooh-poohed the notion that China intentionally spread the Covid virus as a ridiculous conspiracy theory. If I weren’t a gentleman, I’d dismiss Ms. Liasson as a ridiculous something or other.

The problem, as the lady should know, is that these days conspiracy theories have a way of turning out to be true.

Inasmuch as we now know that China had the virus on their hands two months before they shared the news with the rest of the world — and since China was the only country that advanced economically in the past year — why would anyone doubt that they unleashed the pandemic on purpose?

Why else develop a modified bat virus unless you planned to use it on your enemies? And since China regards every other nation as its enemy, I have no doubt that the virus didn’t bust out of the Wuhan lab entirely on its own.


I happen to know a couple of women, friends of my late wife, who vote for Democrats for no other reason than that they support abortions. It strikes me, and it struck Yvonne, as a stupid reason, but I’m wondering if there is any issue that has the power to drive left-wing women to vote for Republicans. In 2022, I’m hoping that the pro-BLM/anti-police platform that the Democrats have adopted will do the trick.

Certainly, whatever their party affiliation, they can’t be happy about the lawlessness that has broken out across the country, leading to the soaring number of rapes, robberies and murders, and leaving their business districts looking like war zones.


Notre Dame rescinded their invitation to Joe Biden, only our second Catholic president, to deliver the commencement address because of his Pro-Choice agenda. I’m glad to see that the administrators at Notre Dame have grown up a little in the years since they complied with President Obama’s demand that they cover the crosses on the wall before he’d deign to give an address.

When asked about it, Biden’s snarky press secretary Jen Psaki said it was no big deal, that he had something else to do. Like what? Sort his socks? Alphabetize his canned goods? Get high with Hunter?


In spite of experiencing a 114% spike in homicides this past year, the city of Minneapolis is renaming a part of the city George Floyd Square. It makes me wonder if the next craven step of the city council is to rename the city Floydopolis.


Sen. John Kennedy (R, LA), who is the one guy I’d want to hang around with if I were a senator, was commenting on Chuck Schumer’s latest billion-dollar wet dream, when he said: “The bill sets aside $120 billion for foreign aid. I don’t know why we have to give money to countries that hate us. Why can’t they hate us for free?”

He also disclosed the fact that tucked away in the bill’s 1500 pages is a $500,000 set-aside to study how long it takes a panda to poop. (If you’re dying to know the answer, you’ll have to keep reading. I’m tired of readers dropping off after reading what they call “the good part.”)


The State Department sent out an official memo to its embassies and consulates around the world to display support for BLM on the first anniversary of George Floyd’s death. They are being told to fly a BLM flag and to reference BLM in their speeches.

That being the case, I don’t suppose we should be too surprised that our diplomats (a polite term for striped-pants freeloaders) have decided that 100,000 Haitians should be granted amnesty.

Having pondered the decision, I can only assume that we already have millions of lazy, unskilled, blacks collecting welfare, so what’s another 100,000? “Besides,” you can hear Schumer and Pelosi plotting, “we can always mail them those phony ballots and be sure that all 100,000 will vote for Democrats.”


For a group that by any measure constitutes a domestic terrorist organization, BLM gets an awful lot of positive attention. For instance, China uses BLM’s propaganda to portray us as an evil country that has contempt for the human rights of minorities.

So says the country that places its own minority group in concentration camps, where the prisoners are raped, forced to produce over-priced sneakers and have their organs removed.

And of course, by honoring BLM, our State Department is acknowledging that the black thugs are right about America.

There’s been an interesting development at the State Department. The place used to be filled with Ivy League anti-Semites who invariably sided with the Arabs against Israel. Now the sons and grandsons of those anal-retentive mugs are all siding with Communist China and against us.


For some reason, the other day I realized I had no idea who composed our National Anthem. That’s strange because it’s usually a song’s lyricist who gets short shrift, but with the Anthem, most people know that Francis Scott Key, a lawyer, wrote the words (actually a poem originally titled “Defense of Fort McHenry,” later re-titled the much catchier “Star-Spangled Banner”) after seeing the flag still flying after the British bombardment of the Fort.

But it turns out that the music was taken from a song written by an Englishman named John Stafford Smith. He had called it “The Anacreontic Song,” written for the Anacreontic Society, to which Smith, along with such English luminaries as Samuel Johnson, James Boswell and Sir Joshua Reynolds, belonged.


The panda, for reasons I can’t imagine, takes 12 minutes to poop. That sounds like a long time to me, but of course I’m not a panda. As a species, does it have anything to do with their diet? Or maybe it’s their only respite away from the kids. Or perhaps they tend to get deeply engrossed in the newspaper. (Surely, you didn’t think I was going to wait until the end to answer the question, did you? And make it oh so easy for those who quit midway through an article? I may look like I just fell off a turnip truck, but I didn’t land on my head.)


I was discussing computer stuff with Arthur Lourea who has been dealing with them since 1964. He had written that back then, they were creating programs on punch cards, that 160K was a lot of RAM (Random Access Memory), and that they were working on a machine that cost millions of dollars.

“Today,” he wrote, “a mid-priced laptop has eight billion bytes of RAM. That’s 50,000 times as much. I’m mind-blown by the advancement in computers in just over 50 years. Plus, today, a laptop costs about $500.”

I replied: “For all the faults that some people find with Capitalism, I am constantly amazed at how often the price comes down while the product itself continues to improve.”

On the other hand, that’s not to say that if someone like, say, Joe Biden, is out to destroy the economy through taxes, regulations and inflation, it can’t be done.

For instance, Janis Seward let me know that her son, who supervises inventory for his company, told her that not only has the price of steel tripled since Biden took office, it is now unavailable in most places.


There are times when I consider what people like Biden, Schumer, Pelosi, Soros, Bezos, Gates and their trained monkeys in the media, are doing to America and I find myself wondering if I’m suffering from the onset of Tourette’s Syndrome or if, all things considered, disgorging a constant torrent of obscenities is perfectly reasonable.


You can email Burt directly at [email protected]

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