Burt Prelutsky / July 31, 2021

Questioning Liberals

What’s in it for regular Americans in a Communist dictatorship?

For eight years, I tried in vain to find something to praise in the Obama administration. I wanted to prove that I could rise above mere partisanship, but in all that time I couldn’t find even one issue that he and I agreed about.

In the same way, I tried for four years to find an issue on which I differed from President Trump. I would sometimes take him to task but that’s because I felt he was, politically speaking, his own worst enemy. I thought his tweets were often inane and I questioned why, especially after the midterm elections of 2018 when suburban housewives deserted the GOP in large numbers, Trump didn’t make more of an effort to woo them back by, for instance, visiting children’s hospitals at least as often as he visited injured veterans.

These days, I am firmly convinced that, using Covid as an excuse to mail out a hundred million unverifiable ballots, the Democrats cheated Trump out of his second term. At the same time, I wish he’d stop whining about 2020 and start focusing like a laser on 2022 and 2024.

I understand why people like Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, Dick Durbin and Bernie Sanders, are Leftists. They think if their side wins, it means more power for them because down deep they are no better than their brethren in Cuba, Venezuela, China and Russia.

But what about the regular Americans who vote for them? What’s in it for them in a Communist dictatorship? Poverty and misery, I’d say, based on what we’ve seen in these countries. The Soviet Union lasted for about 70 years, plenty of time for the commissars to get it right. But it was as wicked and as unsuccessful in the end as it had been at the start.

The fact is, those enraptured with Karl Marx’s nightmare can’t point to a single country where a Communist revolution didn’t lead to the enslavement of the masses.

That is why I always long to hear a TV interviewer ask someone like Alan Dershowitz to explain how it is that he, who often speaks intelligently about the Constitution and the law, decided to vote for Barack Obama twice and Hillary Clinton once. Is it simply that, being Jewish, he feels as if he’d be betraying his parents and grandparents if he ever voted for a Republican? It’s not an idle question. Being Jewish, I happen to know several secular Jews who feel no need to attend synagogue or respect the Sabbath but would feel like heretics if they ever even considered voting for anyone who didn’t have a (D) after their name.

If I were a TV host and I had the opportunity to interview a Democrat, especially one connected to a lie detector, I’d love to ask them a few basic questions, starting with “Would it matter to you if you had absolute proof that Biden cheated his way into the White House? Or would you consider it justified because it prevented Donald Trump from being re-elected? In which case, you would be okay with this republic being transformed into a banana republic. True or false?”

“Are you opposed to capital punishment on what you would call moral grounds, insisting that the state hasn’t the right to take a human life? If so, you are equating a legal execution with cold-blooded murder, and arguing that someone who has taken one or more human lives is entitled to live out his own.”

“Do you believe that people on welfare should be allowed to vote? If so, you are stating that those without skin in the game should be able to cancel out the votes of those whose taxes are supporting them. On what planet would that strike you as fair and equitable?”

“Does it matter to you that the government doesn’t have to censor its political foes because the social media giants do their muzzling for them? If it doesn’t matter, you are stating that so far as you’re concerned, the Constitution is a waste of parchment paper if it in any way prevents your political allies from having their way.”

“Do you believe that foreigners who haven’t gone through the immigration process legally should be allowed into our country? If so, it strongly suggests that you wouldn’t have a problem with people you don’t know moving into your home. Please provide your address and driving directions.”

“Do you subscribe to the belief that America is a systemically racist country and that white people are all bigots? If so, you are in accord with the Southern segregationists who believed that people could be judged by the color of their skin. You merely disagree about which color, white or black, is the more offensive. Take that, Martin Luther King, and your blather about evaluating people based on their character.”

“Do you insist that drug addiction is a disease? If so, it’s the only disease that people choose to have. (This isn’t meant to include innocent victims of unscrupulous physicians, pharmacists and pharmaceutical companies, who over-sold pain killers, which, in turn, led doctors to deny pain killers to those who desperately need them.)”

“Are you one of those people who defend unlimited abortions, arguing that killing a baby, even moments before delivery, is strictly a woman’s decision because the murderous act is no more meaningful than removing a wart? If so, you are a numbskull because nobody ever painted a room blue or pink in anticipation of a wart and nobody ever named a wart after a beloved grandparent.”

Week after week, Mara Liasson, like a lamb being led to slaughter, shows up on Howard Kurtz’s “Media Buzz,” Fox’s Sunday morning news show, where she gets chewed up and spat out by Mollie Hemingway.

There’s really no shame in losing an argument to Mrs. Hemingway, one of the brightest lights at Fox. Charles Lane and Steve Hayes lose them regularly to the lady when they appear as panelists on Bret Baier’s show.

The shame comes when Ms. Liasson objects, on a regular basis, to Hemingway’s generalizing about the leftist media. According to Liasson, the media isn’t monolithic.

If she really believes that, perhaps it’s time she looks around her usual workplace, National Public Radio. NPR has been monolithically liberal going back so far that CNN wasn’t even a gleam in Ted Turner’s eye.

When it comes to figuring out who gets paid the most to do the least, a strong case could be made for politicians, schoolteachers and actors. But even they might lose out to the justices on the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals.

It’s not that they don’t show up on time. It’s what they do while they’re theoretically on the job. Historically, the Court, which represents the western part of America, has been so liberal that even when the Supreme Court has leaned to the left, the 9th has seen more of its decisions overturned than any of the other Circuit Courts.

But of late, they have outdone themselves. Of the 16 decisions that have been appealed this past year, 15 have been overturned.

With that kind of record, you wonder why they don’t just level the San Francisco courthouse and turn it into housing for the homeless. With the savings that would accrue once you stopped paying the salaries of the 29 judges who oversee appeals for the states of California, Oregon, Washington, Montana, Idaho, Hawaii, Alaska and Nevada, along with the territories of Guam and the Northern Mariana Islands, you could even supply the poor wretches with the dope and booze they crave.

The funniest meme I received lately was passed along by Kevin Stroud. It was a picture of the Munsters, including Marilyn, the blonde, normal-looking, member of the group. The caption read: “That one family member who refused the vaccine.”

My interest in the Olympics is just about equal to my interest in the activities of the Kardashians. But I perked right up when I heard that competing athletes in Tokyo are being given “anti-sex” beds in Tokyo.

In an attempt to ensure that no hanky-panky takes place, the host nation is providing the Olympians with beds made of cardboard designed to withstand only the weight of one person. The beds are supposed to break with any sudden movements. And best of all, they are recyclable.

Word has it that the weightlifters and shot-putters are all jealous of the gymnasts, who are both small and extremely agile.

No word as to what materials are being used for the bathtubs and showers.

You can email Burt directly at [email protected]

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