March 9, 2021

Royal Pains in the Arse

It’s long past time for a Royal flush.

Apparently, the Brits have invaded, again. The American tabloid media, which is to say most of the American media, is obsessed with the latest ad-revenue generators, a couple of West Coast Royal imports.

For the record, let me be clear: My concern about British Monarchy whining ended on April 19, 1775, at Lexington and Concord! But so amusing is this tale of Royal family fiction that I could not let the asininity pass without comment.

In 2018, the younger of the Prince and former Princess of Wales’s sons, Henry Charles Albert David, or “Harry,” the Duke of Sussex, hooked up with an American B-list TV actress, Meghan Markle, the now-Duchess of Sussex. A year after the Queen Mother paid for their $45 million wedding, the wholly unaccomplished Harry, and his even less accomplished spouse, had a son, Archie Mountbatten-Windsor — the only actual victim in this sordid fairytale.

In 2020, the celebrated couple announced their intention “to step back as ‘senior’ members of the Royal Family” in order to “carve out a progressive new role” and “work to become financially independent.” Right.

To execute their plan, they moved to California and settled into a humble $15 million hut. From there, they have launched a cottage industry based on their “victimization,” especially because the poor Duchess identifies as “mixed race,” half-black (or is it half-white?). To be fair, they were both childhood victims of their parents’ divorces, and the tragically broken family consequences, which in large measure account for their emotionally arrested development.

So embarrassingly woke are they that, in honor of their slumming pretense, Time magazine awarded them a spot on its 100 most influential people. However, the great irony of their new wokester role is that these inheritance welfare leftists – hubby Harry, and by extension Meghan, being a quintessential example of the effluent of generational wealth and privilege – are in the news, ostensibly for divesting themselves of their Royal privilege. Irony being the only reason they are in the news is because they are trading on their Royal family privilege.

And these two attention sucks are excelling.

Drama queen Meghan tearfully claimed she has finally been “liberated” by the opportunity to tell their story of struggle and hardship to the queen of tabloid TV, billionaire Oprah Winfrey. Oprah emerged from her $100 million Montecito estate to lend a shoulder to the weeping royals in what was they hoped would be the inaugural episode of their faux reality TV show, “The Windsors.”

Right on cue, Meghan’s race-card accusation that little Archie is being denied the title of “Prince” because he is mixed race was the booster engine for her racial victimization charade. Shades of Jussie Smollett! Of course, the MSM is more interested in an accusation of Royal racism than a well-founded accusation of Royal pedophilia.

But wait, complaining about hereditary titles…I thought Harry and Meghan were divesting themselves of hereditary Royal privilege?

So compelling were their Royal pain and suffering disclosures that they surely deserve an Oscar, or should at least get Andrew Cuomo’s Emmy once the International Academy of Television Arts and Sciences rescinds it.

Perhaps the best summary of their performance was from former CNN tabloid commentator and current “Good Morning Britain” tabloid commentator Piers Morgan, who, in keeping with his British tradition of excessive effusiveness, observed: “Meghan and Harry’s nauseating two-hour Oprah whine-athon was a disgraceful diatribe of cynical race-baiting propaganda. … Sickening. Shameful. Self-pitying. Salacious. Scandalous. Sanctimonious. Spectacularly self-serving.” Morgan added, “Those were just my initial thoughts after ten minutes of the Oprah whine-athon with Meghan and Harry, and while restricting myself to only using words beginning with the letter ‘s’. By the time I’d finished the whole two-hour orgy of pious, self-indulgent, score-settling twaddle, the steam was erupting out of my ears like an exploding geyser, and my lexicon of rageful epithets extended to the full range of the alphabet.”

Well done, Piers! Now, it is important to know your audience and given the time slot of your morning show, undoubtedly a large part of your audience are Meghan’s woke women fans. Thus, time to resign!

A day after walking off the set of his morning show, Morgan doubled down on the Royal whinathon: “I said I didn’t believe Meghan Markle in her Oprah interview. I’ve had time to reflect on this opinion, and I still don’t. If you did, OK. Freedom of speech is a hill I’m happy to die on. I’m off to spend more time with my opinions.”

That most erudite of cultural commenters, Mark Steyn, observed: “The queen is a survivor. She saw off the Diana celebrity cult, and she will see off the far more diminished and even more pathetic Meghan cult. … A majority of the British people want them stripped of their titles.”

Dear reader, if you sense I could not give a flying flip about these laughable Royal idiots, much less any other celebrity leftists, you would be correct. It’s long past time for a Royal flush!

Who We Are

The Patriot Post is a highly acclaimed weekday digest of news analysis, policy and opinion written from the heartland — as opposed to the MSM’s ubiquitous Beltway echo chambers — for grassroots leaders nationwide. More

What We Offer

On the Web

We provide solid conservative perspective on the most important issues, including analysis, opinion columns, headline summaries, memes, cartoons and much more.

Via Email

Choose our full-length Digest or our quick-reading Snapshot for a summary of important news. We also offer Cartoons & Memes on Monday and Alexander’s column on Wednesday.

Our Mission

The Patriot Post is steadfast in our mission to extend the endowment of Liberty to the next generation by advocating for individual rights and responsibilities, supporting the restoration of constitutional limits on government and the judiciary, and promoting free enterprise, national defense and traditional American values. We are a rock-solid conservative touchstone for the expanding ranks of grassroots Americans Patriots from all walks of life. Our mission and operation budgets are not financed by any political or special interest groups, and to protect our editorial integrity, we accept no advertising. We are sustained solely by you. Please support The Patriot Fund today!

The Patriot Post and Patriot Foundation Trust, in keeping with our Military Mission of Service to our uniformed service members and veterans, are proud to support and promote the National Medal of Honor Heritage Center, the Congressional Medal of Honor Society, both the Honoring the Sacrifice and Warrior Freedom Service Dogs aiding wounded veterans, the National Veterans Entrepreneurship Program, the Folds of Honor outreach, and Officer Christian Fellowship, the Air University Foundation, and Naval War College Foundation, and the Naval Aviation Museum Foundation. "Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:13)


“Our cause is noble; it is the cause of mankind!” —George Washington

Please join us in prayer for our nation — that righteous leaders would rise and prevail and we would be united as Americans. Pray also for the protection of our Military Patriots, Veterans, First Responders, and their families. Please lift up your Patriot team and our mission to support and defend our Republic's Founding Principle of Liberty, that the fires of freedom would be ignited in the hearts and minds of our countrymen.

The Patriot Post is protected speech, as enumerated in the First Amendment and enforced by the Second Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, in accordance with the endowed and unalienable Rights of All Mankind.

Copyright © 2024 The Patriot Post. All Rights Reserved.

The Patriot Post does not support Internet Explorer. We recommend installing the latest version of Microsoft Edge, Mozilla Firefox, or Google Chrome.