Theater of the Absurd

“I turn on ABC, ‘Face the Nation’ this morning … and they’re talking about, ‘Well, Hunter Biden’s plea deal and this, that, and the other thing and who knows what happens with James Comer, and they may find’ — are you kidding me? I mean, I really just, like, okay, we’re gonna talk about Ukraine again? Really?” —Hunter Biden

“This may not, in every aspect, be a Russian disinformation campaign, but it has literally every earmark of what the Russians did.” —Hunter Biden

Circling the Wagons

“The president has said this before … he loves his son and supports him as he continues to rebuild his life. … He’s proud of his son.” —White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre

Pot Calling the Kettle Black

“The one thing about Elon Musk that I’m certain of is there’s another very damaged human being. … He is the dumbest smart person I think that the world has ever known. … Elon Musk doesn’t care about the godd*mn First Amendment. He doesn’t care about anybody but himself.” —Hunter Biden

Non Compos Mentis

“Four years of infrastructure week, but it failed. He failed. On my watch, instead of infrastructure week, America is having infrastructure decade. Over a billion, 300 million trillion, 300 million dollars!” —Joe Biden

Useful Idiots

“The people of Gaza only decided to break the siege — the walls of the concentration camp — on October 7. And yes, I was happy to see people breaking the siege and throwing down the shackles of their own land and walk free into their land that they were not free to walk in. And yes, the people of Gaza have the right to self-defense — have the right to defend themselves. And yes, Israel as an occupying power does not have that right to self-defense.” —Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) executive director Nihad Awad

“AIPAC [the American Israel Public Affairs Committee] and its affiliates have been controlling the United States government and the United States Congress. … Unless we free Congress, we will not be able to free Palestine.” —Nihad Awad

“We can’t deal with anti-Semitism in and of itself without also addressing the issue of Islamophobia.” —Congressman Jamaal Bowman (D-NY)

Belly Laugh of the Day

“First of all, if there is anti-Semitism in Congress, it is coming from the Republican Party, not the Democrat Party.” —Jamaal Bowman

Village Idiot

“If you want fascism, you vote for Trump. If you want democracy, you will vote for Biden. It’s that simple, and it’s that real.” —actor Rob Reiner

Political Futures

“There’s a reason that President Joe Biden’s advisers keep his access to the press as minimal as they can. They don’t trust him to answer reporters in a way that helps his standing in the polls. It’s likely that he’ll lose his temper, or he’ll lie preposterously.” —Tim Graham

“Gavin Newsom is so eager to run for president that he even campaigns to insist he’s not running.” —Daniel McCarthy

For the Record

“The Civil Rights Movement was a fight for freedom. Unfortunately, too many Black Americans have used their freedom to choose the government plantation. Now this is a challenge not just for Blacks but for the whole nation.” —Star Parker

“Instead of spending money on ensuring the world’s poor have safe drinking water, we are spending billions of dollars pushing windmills and solar power. These ‘green energies’ use 10 times more land than a coal or gas plant. The landscape of America is being paved over and industrialized by our pursuit of zero-carbon policies. How is that a pro-environment policy? … The U.N.‘s latest report says more than $4 trillion needs to be spent each year until 2030 to stop global warming. With that much money, we can end global hunger and illiteracy.” —Stephen Moore

And Last…

“At the present rate, a Stanford law degree, a Harvard political science major, or a Yale social science BA will soon scare off employers and the general public at large. These certificates will signify not proof of humility, knowledge, and decency, but rather undeserved self-importance, vacuousness, and fanaticism — and all to be avoided rather than courted.” —Victor Davis Hanson

“Young people and their elders who cheer the gleeful torture and murders of Oct. 7 do not understand what true evil is like. They could get a better idea at the Victims of Communism Museum.” —Michael Barone