For years I have been involved with a network of pastors working to bring churches together to change our city. In early January, nearly 30 churches joined together for 21 days of prayer and fasting for our community and nation. It’s amazing what can happen when God’s people come together in unity.

Before we started the 21 days, the leaders met and asked what we would like prayer for in the coming year. It just popped into my mind, so I said it: “I want to be the person my friends think I am!”

I’m not saying this to sound super spiritual, but I am being honest. I sincerely want to be that person! You see, I know my heart better than anyone except Jesus. I know that if I’m not careful, I’m capable of anything. I can be selfish, self-centered, prideful, insecure, and much more.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family, I was made to feel inadequate, not good enough. That carried over into my adult life. I joined the Marine Corps to prove I was someone. Yet nothing I accomplished could take away the fear of being exposed as a phony. Decorations and awards only helped for a moment because, inside, I knew who I really was. After being critically wounded on the outside and emotionally wounded on the inside, like many others, I turned to alcohol to make the nightmares go away. That was unsuccessful!

While the horrors of war wounded me emotionally, I realized I was already wounded before the first bullet penetrated my flesh. Vietnam didn’t help, but it wasn’t the only pain I felt. The physical wounds healed long before the emotional wounds. When I encountered Jesus, it was a transformational moment. My life changed dramatically, but…

I realized there were still things that needed to be changed. All of my faults, fears, and insecurities had not gone away. There was a part I had to do to continue the healing process. I had to voluntarily surrender areas of my life to the control of the Holy Spirit. Instead of me being in charge, I had to yield my desires to God to receive the new desires He would place in my heart. I was no longer running the show. I had a new boss (the Lord) who wanted better things for me than what I thought I needed.

As I said, I’m nowhere near where I want to be in this process called Christianity. What I thought was a sprint turned into a lifelong marathon. And guess what? We will never arrive at perfection in this life. Yeah, I’m a lot farther along the path today than I was 50 years ago. But if I compare myself to Jesus, as Karen Carpenter once sang, “We’ve only just begun!”

We are living in a divided, angry, and confused nation right now. Gen Zers are turning away from organized religion. I don’t blame them; I turned away from religion too. Jesus is a relationship, and this generation needs to start seeing “authentic Christians,” not religious folks. Instead of hearing a sermon, they need to see one!

Father in Heaven, help me to be an authentic representation of Jesus to the confused, angry, and lost generation around me. May I be who my friends think I am for You!

Something to pray about!
Semper Fidelis