Dumb & Dumber

“[Trump’s] survival of [an assassination attempt] and bouncing right back and going right to his convention is being conveyed in the media world as a sign of strength. This current president of the United States is 81 years old and has COVID. Should he be fine in a couple of days, doesn’t that convey exactly the same thing?” —MSNBC’s Joy Reid

“We still don’t know for sure whether Donald Trump was hit by a bullet. … What is the actual injury to Donald Trump’s ear that’s under that bandage?” —Joy Reid

“Donald Trump is an elderly man who, for whatever reason, was given nine seconds to take a[n] iconic photo op during an active shooter situation.” —Joy Reid

“Tone Down the Rhetoric”

“They’re trying to humanize [Trump] and change your idea about who this guy is. Don’t fall for that.” —"The View" co-host Whoopi Goldberg

Race Bait

“[J.D. Vance’s] hope is that his wife and he are eventually laid to rest [in Kentucky] and their kids follow them. … It doesn’t always have to be the white male lineage that … defines the family history, that that branch of the tree supersedes all else. And I just think the construction of this notion reveals a lot about someone who fundamentally believes in the supremacy of whiteness and masculinity.” —MSNBC’s Alex Wagner

Lack of Self-Awareness Award

“I said I was going to be a transitional candidate, and I thought I would be able to move on from this and pass it on to somebody else. But I didn’t anticipate things getting so, so, so divided.” —Joe Biden

Spin Doctor

“I would ordinarily be going through black neighborhoods. … But I can’t do that now.” —Joe Biden regarding waning black support

The BIG Lies

“We don’t need more cops. What we need is more social workers.” —Joe Biden

“Inflation is coming down. … What we have to do is deal with the corporate greed.” —Joe Biden

Belly Laughs of the Day

“Restoring the soul of our country and bringing us back together — that’s the record that [Biden] and Vice President Harris have as leaders.” —Senator Chris Coons (D-DE)

“Joe Biden has always put the country first. He’s done what’s best for America.” —Senator John Hickenlooper (D-CO)

“I don’t think a lot of people realize how beloved Joe Biden is and what sorrow and anguish people feel that he might not be the candidate. Even people who feel that he should not be the candidate feel a great sense of loss. He’s been one of the greatest presidents, perhaps the greatest president of my lifetime.” —Sen. John Hickenlooper

Projection

“The Republicans are lying to the American people about virtually every single issue that impacts their lives.” —Biden Deputy Campaign Manager Quentin Fulks

“We are seeing a fascist party [GOP] overflowing with criminals plot the downfall of America, a VP who is the single most radical and unqualified in history.” —Washington Post columnist Jennifer Rubin

Freudian Slip

“This November, we’re going to make America great again.” —Congresswoman Joyce Beatty (D-OH)

Friendly Fire

“A bullet couldn’t stop Trump. A virus just stopped Biden. … The Democrats are coming apart. The Republicans are coming together.” —CNN’s Van Jones

Upright

“I am appalled to learn that the Secret Service knew about a threat prior to President Trump walking on stage. I have no confidence in the leadership of Director Cheatle and believe it is in the best interest of our nation if she steps down from her position.” —Senator Marsha Blackburn (R-TN)

For the Record

“The difference between J.D. Vance and Kamala Harris is that there is no part of Vance’s backstory he’s afraid to talk about whereas there are mouthfuls of Kamala’s history that she hopes never see the light of day.” —Margot Cleveland

Lessons Learned?

“Regarding [J.D.] Vance’s vice-presidential role in helping his boss handle the toughest job on the planet, it all depends on Trump’s willingness to use his VP in that capacity. In my view, one of the worst aspects of Trump’s first-term performance was the revolving door into and out of his inner circle — too many times, we watched executives arrive with great fanfare and then leave too soon on bad terms with the president.” —Jack DeVine

And Last…

“Biden dropping out due to long Covid would be the most cinematic plot twist.” —Peter J. Hasson

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But I was assured that ObamaCare would fix the system. #findoutwhatsinit https://t.co/p4vaCIPyqu

— Jordan Candler | Patriot Post (@candler_jordan) July 18, 2024

Something to keep in mind next time I remodel the house. pic.twitter.com/5l0MYsNS8V

— Jordan Candler | Patriot Post (@candler_jordan) July 18, 2024

Bidenomics in a nutshell https://t.co/Bm4v70nU6j

— Jordan Candler | Patriot Post (@candler_jordan) July 18, 2024