The Truth Comes Out

“They pushed us super hard to take down things that … honestly were true. Right? They basically pushed us and said, ‘You know, anything that says that vaccines might have side effects you basically need to take down.’” —Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg discussing Biden administration COVID policy

Demagogue

“Big Tech corporations are lining up to sponsor Donald Trump’s inauguration. You better believe these CEOs expect a return on their investment. Trump has promised tax breaks for his ‘rich as hell’ donors — while everyone else foots the bill.” —Senator Elizabeth Warren

The BIG Lie

“Republicans in Congress wanted to play politics with the border. We fought to fix it.” —Joe Biden

Delusions of Grandeur

“The economy I am leaving America is the best in the world, and stronger than ever for all Americans.” —Joe Biden

Non Compos Mentis

“I think I would’ve beaten Trump, could’ve beaten Trump. And I think that Kamala could’ve beaten Trump and would’ve beaten Trump.” —Joe Biden

Cleanup on Aisle 46

“I know you’re directly affected, so you fire away, no pun intended.” —Joe Biden calling on Kamala Harris for her assessment of the California fires

Hot Air

“Trump has been bought for $1 billion by Big Oil. Just a payoff to kill the IRA and the Green New Deal. We know what will happen. More fires, more climate disasters, more death. The LA fires are a preview of coming atrocities.” —Senator Ed Markey

Village Idiot

“I know all of us are worried about our friends in Los Angeles. … This climate crisis is brought to you by climate deniers and venal corporate greed. And you know, we’re in a period where these clowns are telling us that woke is a negative thing, and I would just like to say it’s time we wake the f*ck up” —Hollywood director Jim Jarmusch

Touché

“Spend less on hair gel.” —actor Mel Gibson, whose house burned last week, spitefully responding when asked if he had anything to say to Governor Gavin Newsom

Lawfare

“Today’s event was a despicable charade, and now that it is over, we will appeal this Hoax, which has no merit, and restore the trust of Americans in our once great System of Justice. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” —Donald Trump on the unconditional discharge in his hush-money case

“So Alvin Bragg, Matthew Colangelo, and the Manhattan DA’s office wasted almost two years of time and taxpayer resources … to get the right to briefly call Trump a ‘convicted felon’ before the sham sentence is [obviously] overturned on appeal. Exhibit A why NYC is a declining hellhole.” —Josh Hammer

“Trump will walk away from this trial and into the White House in less than two weeks, but the New York [legal] system will walk into infamy after this day.” —constitutional law professor Jonathan Turley

“As of today, President Trump will soon have the right to fire nuclear weapons but not a gun.” —Michael Knowles

Upright

“I think it’s very simple. Look, if you protested peacefully on January the 6th, and you’ve had Merrick Garland’s Department of Justice treat you like a gang member, you should be pardoned. If you committed violence on that day, obviously you shouldn’t be pardoned.” —JD Vance

Re: The Left

“Yeah, little girls are being raped en masse while authorities silence the victims… and the problem is [Elon Musk] for calling it out. How did we miss this? If only Musk can be silenced, the problem will go away. The solution was right in front of us all along.” —Andrew Klavan

“‘I support some women firemen — so long as they can pass the test. Women in combat, too. Why not? Yeah, I support same-sex 'marriage.’ And if an adult man wants to wear a dress, that’s no business of mine. But transgenderism in school is crazy!‘ See the problem with this argument?” —Michael Knowles

“I have zero respect for all the Democrats coming out of the woodwork and condemning wokeness…after Trump won. Make no mistake: it’s great they’ve caught up with us. But are they actually red-pilled? Absolutely not. They’re just trying to rebrand before it’s too late.” —Ian Haworth

Belly Laugh of the Day

“Hopefully everyone is cool with me skipping the inauguration so I can go to the national title game.” —Ohio State University alumnus JD Vance