Swampthink

“Of course there’s some wasteful spending, but you don’t use a meat axe and cut everything.” —Senate Democrat Leader Chuck Schumer

Projection

“This is about the government telling the public and press what words to use and retaliating if they do not follow government orders.” —the Associated Press in reference to the White House restricting AP access

Fearmongering

“I want to tell you about Trump’s agenda for our kids: shut down the Dept of Education; micromanage teachers from the White House; sell off our schools to the billionaires.” —Senator Chris Murphy

Shot/Chaser I

“Is it [DEI] making people sit through a training that looks like something out of Portlandia? Which I have also experienced. It is how Trump Republicans are made if that comes to your workplace.” —former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg

“Mayor Pete is the same man who called highways racist and proposed 1 billion dollars be spent on ‘racial equity in roads’. Nothing about his perspective changed except he’s running for Senate in a swing state.” —Meghan McCain

Shot/Chaser II

“Trump says there are ‘two sexes.’ Experts and science say it’s not binary.” —Washington Post headline

“If a scientist says to you, ‘I have a degree in botany; there is no such thing as trees,’ the proper response is to doubt the scientist and not doubt whether trees exist.” —Frank J. Fleming

Straight From the Horses Mouth

“We’re really proud that we’ve eliminated the required college degree in more than 90% of our jobs. It’s plain and simple: Equity is the motive.” —Delta Air Lines Chief DEI Officer Keyra Johnson

Friendly Fire

“We got to talk to people like real human beings. We’ve sanitized different language so significantly that, you know, people don’t feel like we’re talking to them.” —Kentucky Democrat Governor Andy Beshear

Belly Laugh of the Day

“Trump claimed the sky is blue — not so fast, experts say.” —Kyle Mann

For the Record

“Germany’s entire defense is subsidized by the American taxpayer. There are thousands upon thousands of American troops in Germany today. Do you think that the American taxpayer is gonna stand for that if you get thrown in jail in Germany for posting a mean tweet?” —JD Vance

Upright

“We’ve got to persuade our fellow citizens that unborn life is worthy of protecting. It is sacred in the eyes of God, and it should be sacred in the eyes of man too.” —JD Vance

And Last…

“Mitch McConnell just announced he’s leaving the Senate at the end of his term. Democrats are asking for privacy during this difficult time.” —Jimmy Failla