Straight From the Horse’s Mouth

Q: “There hasn’t been a fair primary for the Democrats since 2008. Are they not also a threat to democracy?” —podcaster Akaash Singh

A: “Fair enough… Yeah, I’m not going to argue with that point.” —Sen. Bernie Sanders

Dumb & Dumber

“First of all, don’t be a handmaiden to the patriarchy, which kind of eliminates every woman on the other side of the aisle, except for very few.” —Hillary Clinton

“This very blatant effort to basically send a message, most exemplified by [JD] Vance and [Elon] Musk and others, that, you know, what we really need from you women are more children. And what that really means is you should go back to doing what you were born to do, which is to produce more children.” —Hillary Clinton

“If you had read the Heritage Foundation’s Project 2025 … it’s all in there. It’s all in there. Return to the family, the nuclear family; return to being a Christian nation; return to producing a lot of children — which is sort of odd because the people who produce the most children in our country are immigrants, and they want to deport them.” —Hillary Clinton

Non Compos Mentis

“Israel and America are two of the most evil countries in the world.” —Taylor Lorenz

Spin Doctor

“Why release this [Joe Biden/Robert Hur] tape now? And it’s clear to me that President Trump released the tape because he’s trying to distract from his … unprecedented, disastrous first 100 days. … This is good for Joe Biden. It’s good for the Democratic Party because we can dispense with this now and not closer to the midterm elections.” —former Harris communications director Ashley Etienne

A Trip Down Memory Lane

“You had to put on your windshield wipers to get, literally, the oil slick off the window. That’s why I and so d*mn many other people I grew up [with] have cancer.” —Joe Biden, July 2022

Shielding Biden From Accountability

Q: “[Joe Biden’s] medical condition now, his announced medical condition now, do you believe that silences or delays a lot of conversations about his, you know, last year and a half of his presidency, for now?” —CNN’s Fredricka Whitfield

A: “Yeah, well, I think those conversations are going to happen, but they should be more muted and set aside for now as he’s struggling through this.” —Democrat strategist David Axelrod

For the Record

“Why didn’t the American people have a better sense of [Joe Biden’s] health picture? … We can pray for good health but also recognize that if you’re not in good enough health to do the job, you shouldn’t be doing the job.” —Vice President JD Vance

Make America Responsive Again

“I heard [this] directly from a member of one of the foreign delegations. I asked him how hopeful their country was when they learned President Trump won the election. He told me that when President Trump won the election, it was like the lights turned on in a dark room. For the past four years, to the rest of the world, America was dark. We were unresponsive. We did not pick up the phone. We did not return calls. All of that has changed.” —White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt

And Last…

“It’s not that the media always lies; it’s just that we know that they are perfectly willing to do so.” —David Strom