Yellow Journalism

“AG Pam Bondi’s decision to order a grand jury investigation into Obama-era intelligence officials is a watershed moment in the history of MAGA retribution after 10 years of demanding the arrests of Trump’s political enemies.” —Axios

Demagogue

“The next time we win power, we’re going to drive that car like we stole it. We’re going to legalize every Dreamer, every Dreamer’s parents, every hardworking American doing backbreaking work that makes this country so [darn] great in the first place.” —former Rep. Beto O'Rourke

Braying Jenny

“I have to deal with the onslaught of attacks on my residents: the loss of healthcare for millions, children starving because they don’t have the SNAP benefits, and seeing the ICE raids with unfettered power walking into our courthouses and our buildings and our schools wearing masks and blaring guns.” —New York Gov. Kathy Hochul

Non Compos Mentis

“We … are hoping that we can have gender-affirming care for our trans kids.” —Rep. Nancy Pelosi

“I will liken [GOP redistricting] to the Holocaust.” —Texas State Rep. Jolanda Jones

Belly Laughs of the Day

“I’ve always followed the rules. Democrats always follow the rules.” —Gov. Kathy Hochul

“My administration would be Donald Trump’s worst nightmare.” —NYC mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani

Upright

“Freedom of speech means freedom to cause offence. The number of supposed liberals who’ve fallen at this most basic hurdle, because for the first time in their lives they risked losing the approval of their tribe, has been staggering.” —J.K. Rowling

“‘What a woman means has changed over time’ makes as little sense as ‘what the sky means has changed over time.’ No amount of fashionable jargon, pseudo-science or religious belief will alter the nature of women or the sky. You are not God. Reality exists independently of you.” —J.K. Rowling

And Last…

“From my earliest days, I have been captivated by the marvels of creation, looking upward with an insatiable curiosity. This curiosity propelled me into the skies, and eventually to space, where the magnificence of the cosmos mirrored the glory of its Creator in ways words can scarcely convey.” —astronaut Butch Wilmore