Delusions of Grandeur

“No attorney general in the country is battling President Donald Trump more proficiently … than [Letitia] James.” —The Nation national affairs correspondent Joan Walsh

War Is Peace, Freedom Is Slavery, Ignorance Is Strength

“The undocumented immigrant at the center of immigration fight between Trump and NJ’s governor had a largely clean driving record, despite prior DUI arrests.” —New Jersey Monitor senior reporter Dana DiFilippo

Race Bait

“It’s not lost on anyone that the cities that [President Trump] is calling out … have large numbers of black and brown people. … They’re all headed by black mayors. Now, what does that say? What does that picture paint?” —Oakland, California, Mayor Barbara Lee

Facepalm

“I walk around all the time. I wake up early in the morning sometimes and take a nice walk as the sun is rising, around some of the Capitol and the other monuments and things. And I feel perfectly safe. They’re full of it. … Donald Trump wants to distract. That’s his game plan. It’s been his MO for his first term in the presidency and now.” —Senate Democrat Leader Chuck Schumer, whose benefits include around-the-clock police protection

Shot/Chaser

“The reality is that crime is down in major cities. And if you really want to be a stickler about it, you might even want to mention that violent crime rates are higher in some red states.” —"comedian" Seth Meyers

“Meyers appeared totally unaware that you can have a blue city inside of a red state.” —Alex Christy

A Blind Squirrel Finds a Nut

“The answer to this problem for Democrats is not, ‘Oh, everything’s okay. There’s nothing to see here. Move along.’ … 91% of Washington residents say crime is a problem. … 51% [say] it is an extremely serious problem.” —MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough

Straight From the Horse’s Mouth

“I was born and raised in the District and I have never seen the things that I see today with children as young as three years old being shot. … [Trump] would be foolish, I think, to ignore things like that — a child three years old being shot.” —a DC resident speaking on the crime crackdown

For the Record

“If an 800-pound obese person loses 200 pounds, they are still obese. Just because homicides dropped in DC doesn’t mean it is safe. It is still more murderous than most major cities in America.” —Lisa Boothe

“I was born in Washington, D.C., at the end of 1942. Growing up in the suburbs there was so little crime it made the front page in the city’s three newspapers.” —Cal Thomas

No More Autopen

“Signed by the human hand for a change.” —Donald Trump upon signing an executive order

Fauxcahontas

“Elizabeth Warren said she was an Indian. We call her Pocahontas. She’s a liar. … She’s a nutjob. I watched her the other night. She’s all hopped up. … She’s gotta take a drug test. … There’s no way somebody can act that way and be normal.” —Donald Trump

Political Futures

“Statehood is ridiculous. We want to straighten the place out. … The Democrats want it because the Democrats have, you know, about 95% in this little area. … They want to pick up two senators, and that’s not going to happen.” —Donald Trump on DC statehood

“I say this with respect: Chuck [Schumer] and Hakeem [Jeffries] need to go to Amazon, buy some testicles, and stand up to the loon wing of their party.” —Sen. John Kennedy

And Last…

“If Obamacare had been sold honestly, Obama would have said, ‘The middle class pays too little for insurance that is too good. We need them to pay more for worse insurance so we can insure more people.’” —Frank J. Fleming