Spin Doctor

“If this bill becomes law, doctors, pharmacists, and — in some circumstances — the parents of young trans people, would face time in prison for choosing to prioritize their child’s health.” —Rep. Mark Takano (D-CA) describing a bill to punish those who mutilate children in the name of “gender-affirming care”

Foot in Mouth Syndrome

“We should call this obsession with your kids and what treatment they’re getting in a pediatrician’s office what it is: it’s creepy.” —Rep. Becca Balint (D-VT) inadvertently admitting that she doesn’t think your kid’s medical treatment is your business

Stranger Than Fiction

“What’s the point of food stamps if it’s just for real food?” —a Missouri food-stamp recipient

Dumb & Dumber

“[ICE is] arresting people simply for the offense of being in the country illegally.” —Rep. Steve Cohen (D-TN)

“We do not move to America because we think it’s a better country. We move here because it’s a little less worse than our other countries. … We have better vibes, music, food, culture, history.” —social media influencer Montse Lewin

Belly Laughs of the Day

“If asked whether to prosecute a former president based on the same facts today, I would do so regardless of whether the president was a Republican or Democrat.” —former Special Counsel Jack Smith on his political persecution of Donald Trump

“We strongly and rightly believed that there should be an absolute separation between what we wanted as an administration and what the Department of Justice did.” —former VP Kamala Harris on the Biden DOJ not releasing the Epstein files

Re: The Left

“The people trying to turn Mary and Joseph into illegal aliens or Jesus into Karl Marx are also the same people who lecture us about the ‘separation of church and state’ when we say, ‘God created marriage as the union of one man and one woman’ or that all life is sacred and created in the image of God. But now, all of a sudden, they have discovered Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.” —Gary Bauer

“If policymakers and cultural leaders refuse to acknowledge that some ideas are worse than others, that some ideological frameworks are more prone to producing violence, they miss the central motivating factor in human behavior.” —Ben Shapiro

“Americans across the country are frustrated by the complete lack of accountability for the lies, the corruption, the fraud. … We see people committing egregious crimes, stealing staggering amounts of taxpayer dollars, and eroding our constitutional rights. And … crickets. It is impossible to overstate the damage this is doing to public confidence in government and law enforcement.” —Laura Hollis

Upright

“We have to stop sprinting away from God and then wondering why everything feels empty. The American experiment was never meant to function on material prosperity alone. It assumed a people who believed they were accountable to something higher than their appetites and their politics.” —Armstrong Williams

And Last…

“I’ll take a President who gives the troops MONEY over the President who gave them DRAG SHOWS any day.” —Jimmy Failla