That Was Inevitable

“You have compelled me to testify [about Jeffrey Epstein], fully aware that I have no knowledge that would assist your investigation, in order to distract attention from President Trump’s actions and to cover them up despite legitimate calls for answers.” —Hillary Clinton

Braying Jenny

“I watched [the State of the Union]. It was full of lies and, you know, when [Donald Trump] wasn’t lying … it reminded me of our kids going to show and tell at school.” —former Democrat presidential nominee Kamala Harris

Fool Me Once…

“I don’t know why this is so hard to understand, and I will continue to say this. You can trust me on this: The person whose angriest about this fraud is me.” —Minnesota Democrat Gov. Tim Walz

Non Compos Mentis

“We have to start having some shaming around gun possession. I think if you’ve got a gun, you should be ashamed of yourself. I really do.” —Grand Rapids Democrat Mayor David LaGrand

Et tu, Brute?

“Even my Democrat governor colleagues, they’re not trying to get illegals here to turn them into voters. I don’t believe that’s what Democrat politicians are trying to do.” —Oklahoma Republican Gov. Kevin Stitt

Re: The Left

“The idea the Democrats couldn’t stand up … to say that American government is there to support American citizens, not illegal immigrants … just tells you how far gone and radicalized the Democrats have become.” —Sen. Eric Schmitt (R-MO)

Reality Check

“Senate Democrat Leader Chuck Schumer announces that the Democrats’ new initiative is called the ‘Lower Costs Initiative.’ The last time Democrats tried to lower costs, inflation hit a 40-year high.” —RNC Research

“Hearing the Democrats talk about affordability is like hearing an arsonist complain about fire. It’s your fault.” —Vice President JD Vance

Message for the Midterms

“We would really appreciate you not sending us a bunch of crazy Democrats in November. So, please don’t do that.” —JD Vance

Belly Laugh of the Day

“Every time some optimistic Republican contends the latest scandal is going to lead to Omar getting voted out of office, I roll my eyes and sigh, ‘Oh, brother.’” —Jim Geraghty

Upright

“Last year Charlie was violently murdered by an assassin and martyred — really, martyred — for his beliefs. … In Charlie’s memory, we must all come together to reaffirm that America is one nation under God, and we must totally reject political violence of any kind.” —Donald Trump

“Just like any other sailor and solider, which I was once, [I] set out to be good at whatever I do for my country. … All I say is God bless America and all glory to God.” —CAPT Royce Williams on receiving his Medal of Honor

And Last…

“The Chinese are at war with us. We should start acting like it.” —Erick Erickson