Non Compos Mentis

“In the body of the original post, we described [Jose Medina-Medina] as an ‘illegal immigrant,’ using language provided by the Department of Homeland Security. … No human’s existence is illegal, and we quickly changed our wording to reflect that.” —editor’s note in The Loyola Phoenix, the student newspaper of Loyola University (“The future of journalism is bleak. Student newsrooms are heavily captured by this anti-information ideology, enforced ruthlessly by their activist friends. These kids are more upset about identifying the murder suspect as an illegal immigrant than they are about the murder.” —Guy Benson)

Can’t Fix Stupid

“Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson just unveiled an ‘Abolish ICE’ snow plow. Less than a week after Sheridan Gorman was murdered in his city by an illegal alien.” —Greg Price

Village Idiot

“Before he was elected to the Senate, Markwayne Mullin was a low-level MMA fighter and a plumber. That’s right. We have a plumber protecting us from terrorism now.” —"comedian" Jimmy Kimmel

Dumb & Dumber

“Why U.S. Victory in Iran Would Be Bad for Washington — and the World.” —headline from Foreign Policy columnist Howard W. French

“I tend to believe Iran more than I do Donald Trump.” —former CIA Director John Brennan

For the Record

“The other side, I can tell you, they’d like to make a deal. And who wouldn’t if you were them? Look, [Iran’s] navy’s gone. Their air force is gone. Their communications are gone.” —President Donald Trump

“I won’t use the word ‘war’ because they say if you use the word ‘war,’ that’s maybe not a good thing to do. They don’t like the word ‘war’ because you’re supposed to get approval. So, I’ll use the word ‘military operation,’ which is really what it is. It’s a military decimation.” —Donald Trump

Re: The Left

“It’s the Democrats who have led to this stalemate over the past six weeks. The president and the Republicans’ position has been very clear: fund the Department of Homeland Security.” —White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt

“Democrats will force as much pain on Americans as it takes to protect the millions of foreign invaders that they resettled into our country. Ensuring that illegal aliens can vote in our elections and be counted in the next census is more important to them than representing you.” —Rep. Brandon Gill (R-TX)

“The Democratic Party completely shut down air travel to stop illegal aliens from being deported. It sounds insane to say that out loud, but it’s exactly what happened.” —Marty O'Donnell

That’ll Do It

“There are two ways to stop shutdowns in the Senate. … Number one: No senator gets paid. But equally important, no senator can leave Washington, DC.” —Sen. John Kennedy (R-LA)

And Last…

“I think that the [late-night] talk shows … became really agenda-based. … It stopped being funny and it started feeling like I was in … a class I didn’t want to take.” —actor Vince Vaughn