Swampthink

“[Pete Hegseth] was a Fox News host, and now he is the secretary of defense? No wonder things are turning out so horrifically.” —House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

Village Idiot

“I think that the US withdrawing from NATO is a good idea while the US is governed by a Russian agent. Later, when the US is run again by a government not beholden to Russia, they may want to rejoin NATO and at that point I’m sure they will be welcome.” —actor John Cleese

Saying the Quiet Part Out Loud

“Should a minority community’s right to be in America depend on their willingness to converge with the cultural mainstream? No, it shouldn’t depend on that. It shouldn’t depend on anything. We’re all Americans, after all.” —Washington Post columnist Shadi Hamid

Braying Jenny

“[Republicans] ignore the financial burdens crushing parents who are trying to provide a safe, healthy, middle-class life for their kids. Their answer is too often nostalgia and misogyny: If we could turn back the clock to a time when women didn’t work (and knew their place), the economy would thrive and families would flourish. This is substantively and politically brain-dead.” —Hillary Clinton

“The irony is hard to miss: Republicans who paid lip service to helping moms after the Supreme Court ended Roe v. Wade continue to oppose policies that would make parenthood more affordable and sustainable.” —Hillary Clinton

Delusions of Grandeur

“MS NOW is doing the best job out of any network I think right now.” —Don Lemon

Non Compos Mentis

“Prime Minister Carney is cutting $7 billion between Indigenous Services Canada and Crown Indigenous Relations. They provided $0 to deal with the ongoing genocide of MMIWG2SLGBTQQIA+ [Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women, Girls, and Two-Spirit, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, and Asexual].” —Canadian MP Leah Gazan

Belly Laughs of the Day

“The LGBT community in Canada is now: MMBJOUQTJLAYAWD40ROOMDCF+SVPWIZ¯_(ツ)_/¯BFJTWLEGOBLT£LADBOSUBDDBLAGF+>:-(” —The Babylon Bee

“CANADA has changed its Pride Acronym to MMIWG2SLGBTQQIA+ That’s not a Civil Rights Movement that’s a STRONG Email Password.” —Jimmy Failla

Éminence Grise

“I call on Congress to provide the women who have been victimized by Epstein with a public hearing specifically centered around the survivors. Give these victims their opportunity to testify under oath in front of Congress with the power of sworn testimony.” —First Lady Melania Trump

For the Record

“When I heard the Pentagon briefing this morning, first Secretary [Pete] Hegseth and then General [Dan] Caine, they both acted as if they think the war is basically over. Something has occurred that we don’t know the details of that has given this administration … high hopes that Iran has blinked here.” —Brit Hume

“If you want to talk about a war crime, Iran is a 47-year-old war crime.” —Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA)

Upright

“We clearly need to rethink immigration from Islamic nations.” —Erick Erickson

And Last…

“Fewer and fewer prominent figures on the right are staking out the only actual sane position, which is that Trump is a politician who sometimes we will agree with and sometimes we will not agree with, and our right and responsibility as Americans is to be honest in either case.” —Matt Walsh