Third-Rate Theology

“Jesus himself did not run around saying, ‘I’m the Messiah.’” —"The View" co-host Joy Behar (“That’s exactly what Jesus said!” — “The View” co-host Sara Haines)

“The people in charge don’t want you to know this, but Muslims love Jesus. Islam reveres Him as a major prophet and messenger of the Lord, believes He performed miracles, and states that He will return to Earth to defeat the Antichrist. That’s why Donald Trump’s painting depicting himself as the Son of God offended the president of Iran. It was an attack on his religion as well as Christianity.” —Tucker Carlson Network (“Yes, Muslims love Jesus so much, and they prove it by slaughtering His followers throughout Africa and the Middle East.” —Allie Beth Stuckey | “Also worth pointing out that the Jesus of Islam is not the Jesus of Christianity. Islam explicitly denies Jesus’ divinity, crucifixion, resurrection, and atonement. They don’t ‘love’ Jesus; they lie about Jesus.” —Seth Dillon)

Non Compos Mentis

“I think that the Republicans are far more damaging. The biggest terrorist — the biggest domestic terrorist in this country, the biggest terrorist internationally — is the Republican Party.” —leftist political pundit Hasan Piker

“I’m a lesser-evil voter, and therefore I would vote for Hamas over Israel every single time.” —Hasan Piker

The BIG Lie

Q: “Some Republicans and others are saying that Democrats turned kind of a blind eye. That they knew what [Eric Swalwell] was up to or what the allegations were.” —George Washington University’s Frank Sesno

A: “No. That’s not true. … It is absolutely not true.” —Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)

Feigning Ignorance

“I trusted this man. … And it hurts, the fact that he hurt a lot of people, and it pisses me off that now we all have to deal with all of his BS.” —Sen. Ruben Gallego (D-AZ) on his former friend Eric Swalwell

For the Record

“Don’t think that the Democrat Party has suddenly discovered the importance of sexual purity. They have maliciously used false claims of sexual assault and harassment against virtually every Republican Supreme Court nominee in the last 25 years. This is all about one thing — power. … Swalwell wasn’t driven out of the race by a slow drip, drip, drip of accusations. He was hit with an avalanche of opposition research.” —Gary Bauer

A Blind Squirrel Finds a Nut

“Here I am fighting the battle to keep biological men out of women’s sports, okay? Because it’s not right. … But back when I came out, what did I accept? Glamour’s ‘Woman of the Year’ award. And I go, ‘What a hypocrite. I’m still XY.’” —Bruce “Caitlyn” Jenner

Inquisitive Minds Want to Know

“If there remains no standard for distinguishing right from wrong — other than opinion polls and legal jujitsu — what can be considered as always right and always wrong?” —Cal Thomas