Theater of the Absurd

“I’m not going to sugarcoat the gravity of what we face right now in the United States. This is the most significant threat to American democracy since the Civil War. Donald Trump … is trying to end our democracy. We are not on the verge of a totalitarian takeover; we are in the middle of it.” —Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT)

The BIG Lie

“Donald Trump ran on a false promise that he would get rid of the ‘worst of the worst.’ But instead, his administration has been moving forward [with] their real goal: ending all legal immigration to this country.” —Rep. Pramila Jayapal (D-WA)

Dumb & Dumber

“I believe that ICE is a cruel and inhumane agency that does nothing to serve in the interest of public safety.” —NYC Socialist Mayor Zohran Mamdani

“Our border crossings are down about 30%. … And that’s something that we need to continue urging the administration to kinda lighten up and allow people to cross freely.” —Rep. Vicente Gonzalez (D-TX)

Useful Idiots

“Split U.S. Comes to Grips With a Largely Hazy War.” —The New York Times defending Iran’s Islamo-fascist regime

Judicial Activism

“The Court’s stay decisions can, at times, come across utterly irrational … We cannot expect the public to have faith in our judicial system if, without clear explanation, we consistently green-light harmful acts that do real damage.” —Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson

Non Sequitur

“If you are a ‘Mario Kart’ fan, government is Yoshi, and philanthropy is the golden mushroom — that edge we need to beat Bowser on the Rainbow Road. To belabor this metaphor even further, Bowser is corporate greed in this scenario.” —Zohran Mamdani

For the Record

“I don’t want to be here, we don’t want to be here, but we weren’t given a choice. Our children were murdered, so here we are trying to prevent this nightmare from happening to anyone else.” —Jennifer Heiling speaking to Congress on behalf of Angel Moms

Re: The Left

“Democrats are discussing plans after retaking power to change the system so they never lose it again. [James] Carville (curiously on a national podcast) told Democrats to keep the plans quiet.” —law professor Jonathan Turley (“Yeah…that’s kind of always been their thing.” —former Virginia House Delegate Nick Freitas)

Upright

“Do I believe that we can legislate morality? To a point, yes. Matter of fact, our laws are based upon some simple maxims that we call the Ten Commandments. I do find it quite unconscionable that we have some who would deny the public display of that which forms the basis of law in western civilization.” —Allen West

“This is the proper understanding of the separation of church and state: civil leaders must not assume spiritual authority, and spiritual leaders must not surrender moral authority.” —Tony Perkins

And Last…

“As we say in Mississippi, ‘Bless Your Heart.’ Or as you say in the UK, ‘As-Salamu Alaykum.’” —Mississippi Republican Gov. Tate Reeves in response to the news that Britain ranked 51st in income when compared to the 50 states