For the record: “CNBC set a new low for televised political debates incompetence and biased moderators. But at least it did one thing right Wednesday night. It did for Republicans what they have not been able to do for themselves so far this primary season. It actually unified the Republican Party, on and off the stage.” —Michael Reagan

Good idea: “I think all of the Republican debates should be hosted by CNBC from now on. The network demonstrated a number of traits people loathe about the press — and the candidates, most of them anyway, came out smelling like roses.” —Mona Charen

Non Compos Mentis: “I thought they did a good job tonight. … It was well done, well controlled, a lot of good questions.” —John “I’m Angry and I’m From Ohio” Kasich on Wednesday’s CNBC debate

Braying Jenny: “You would have been better off watching the World Series because the debate, in my view, was a swing and a miss.” —Hillary Clinton (That’s because the UMPIRES were beaning the batters.)

Village Idiots: “I’m certainly no historian, but the Cold War was characterized by two international superpowers who were in a sort of global test that was backed by the threat of nuclear weapons. The situation today is much different than that. Russia is no longer a superpower.” —Josh Earnest (Which is exactly why Vladimir Putin is taking over countries. Russia, by the way, still has nuclear weapons.)

Late-night humor: “Donald Trump told the crowd in Iowa, ‘I am a great Christian.’ If you have to tell people you’re a great Christian, you might not be a great Christian. Jesus said it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God. Which is why Donald Trump is now currently working on plans to build an enormous needle.” —Jimmy Kimmel (Trump will make the Mexicans pay for the needle, too.)