December 22, 2015

I’m Dreaming of a Multicolored Christmas

Starting a war on racist Christmas.

What happens when you’re offended by a Christmas holiday song and you want to air your grievance? Go to a college campus. You’ll find people who will happily be offended with you — whatever the issue. As a bit of satire, Dan Joseph of MRCTV went to George Mason University with petition in hand to stop radio stations from playing the Irving Berlin’s classic ditty “White Christmas.” What did “dreaming of a white Christmas / Just like the ones I used to know” ever do to Joseph? He argued to students that the song is racist, a microaggression against multiculturalism. “We think that the song ‘White Christmas’ is insulting to people of color,” Joseph told one student, “because it says snow is white and therefore it is good and, uh, but we know there are other kinds of snow. It’s dirty on the ground, sometimes it turns brown, sometimes it turns black.” With poetic interpretation being what it is today, Joseph was able to collect 18 signatures in an hour on campus. At one point, Joseph said the carol with the most laudable social justice message is “Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer” because it celebrates a flying reindeer’s genetic mutation. But if we’re going to jump on this social justice crusade, we must point out that the song also celebrates exceptionalism — the fact that Rudolf was the only one who could do a certain job. Then again, if the song had been written today, Santa might have started a committee to study the dangers of flying in severe weather caused by climate change and suggest changes to flight procedures and sleigh registration, as well as petition for subsidies to develop technology to safely deliver age-appropriate gifts free of choking hazards and lead-based paint to children.

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