Upright: “Those who worship Trump have an obligation to say why he is worthy of their faith. Given his liberal background and poor explanations of why he now believes differently, how do his supporters know he will govern conservatively should he win the White House? He once said his sister, who is pro-abortion, would be an excellent nominee to the Supreme Court. His story of how he supposedly became a pro-life convert lacks credibility. Electing a president, especially in a dangerous world, is important work. Anger and emotion should not govern the choice.” —Cal Thomas

For the record: “I think Trump’s a fake conservative because he spent most of his life as a progressive Democrat.” —Rand Paul

Good question: “I’m watching all of this talk about banning the Oscars. And all these Hollywood liberals and Hollywood actors and actresses are running around saying, ‘We can’t go to the Oscars, there aren’t any black nominees. It’s a racist bunch, it’s racism, and we’re not gonna go support it.’ If that’s the case, then why aren’t all good liberals boycotting the Democrat presidential primaries?” —Rush Limbaugh

Demo-gogues: “No, I wouldn’t [run for a third term]. … Although I think I am as good of a president as I’ve ever been right now, I also think that there comes a point where you don’t have fresh legs, and that’s when you start making mistakes or that’s when you start thinking that you are what’s important as opposed to the mission being more important.” —Barack Obama

Braying Jenny: “You know, look, I’ve been around a long time. People have thrown all kinds of things at me. And you know, I can’t keep up with it. I just keep going forward. They fall by the wayside. They come up with these outlandish things. They make these charges. I just keep going forward because there’s nothing to it. They throw all this stuff at me, and I’m still standing. … [Y]ou have to say to yourself, why are they throwing all of that? Well, I’ll tell you why. Because I’ve been on the front lines of change and progress.” —Hillary Clinton

Late-night humor: “Samsung has a new washing machine that can connect to your smartphone and send you updates about your laundry. They say it’s perfect for people who are either extremely busy or have nothing else going on.” —Jimmy Fallon