Upright: “Take the Exxon prosecution, promoted by the attorneys general of New York and California and a host of their Democratic brethren. Though the case is never meant to be adjudicated in a courtroom, suppose it were and suppose a jury somehow found for the plaintiffs. How would Exxon pay a securities-fraud judgment? By selling oil and gas. Attacking Exxon is not climate policy making; it’s a distraction. Its purpose is to foster an atmosphere conducive to the Gore-Obama green pork-barrel strategy.” —WSJ’s Holman Jenkins

The BIG lie: “Our Republican system is absolutely rigged. It’s a phony deal. … These are dirty tricksters. This is a dirty trick. And I’ll tell you what: The RNC … should be ashamed of themselves [sic] for allowing this kind of crap to happen.” —Donald Trump (“The rules were set last year. Nothing mysterious — nothing new. The rules have not changed.” —Reince Priebus)

We’re not a democracy: “I think we’re doing very well but despite that it’s a rigged system, it’s a very unfair system and it’s not democracy. … When you get the votes you should win.” —Donald Trump (A democracy still requires a majority.)

Values voter: “I read about this thing they did in Mississippi where apparently you can deny somebody service because they’re gay. What the hell are we doing in this country? … We had a Supreme Court ruling, and you know what, let’s move on.” —John “I’m the Prince of Light” Kasich

Non Compos Mentis: “It’s puzzling that so many Americans are choosing to arm themselves at a time when the FBI tells us violent crime and property crime have been falling dramatically for two decades."—NPR’s John Burnett (Maybe, just maybe, crime is dropping because more Americans are arming themselves.)

Braying Jenny: "Republicans governors and legislatures are waging a relentless assault on workers’ rights. Ted Cruz and other Republicans are pushing a national right to work law that would gut unions, drive down wages and benefits, and concentrate even more power in the hands of corporations and their allies. Right to work is wrong for workers and wrong for America.” —Hillary Clinton

Late-night humor: “A car owned by Hillary Clinton is up for sale. Like Hillary, the car has been hit from all sides and lately has been starting to stall.” —Conan O'Brien