The Gipper: “[G]overnment’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”

Upright: “Some say they only want to shake things up. Others would go further and blow them up — from Occupy Wall Street to certain pockets of the Trump campaign, Americans in recent years have been flirting with old-time Russian nihilism in modern dress. They don’t want to master chess, they want to grab the board and fling it. It’s a shame, because 2016 is a game that we — Republicans, conservatives, and everyone who only wishes that Hillary Clinton would go back to Chappaqua and leave us alone — can win.” —Nicholas Frankovich

Non Compos Mentis: “We will ultimately change the [gun] laws of our country to protect ordinary citizens who are part of this wave of violence.” —Sen. Ed Markey

The BIG Lie: “[O]f course I never endangered national security. That’s absolutely false.” —Hillary Clinton

Empty bluster: “It’s unprofessional and under the rules of engagement that could have been a shot down, so people need to understand that this is serious business and the United States is not going to be intimidated in high seas. We respect our freedom of navigation … and we are communicating to the Russians how dangerous this is.” —Secretary of State John Kerry on the Russian jet that buzzed a U.S. destroyer

Alpha Jackass: “I don’t want to play the rule game, because I’ll tell you what, we live in a democracy and it’s all about getting the bosses out. The bosses are picking. Now I’m winning, you will say. I’m winning by 200 delegates. I’m winning, more importantly in my opinion, I’m winning by 2 million votes. In other words I’ve gotten more than 2 million votes.” —Donald Trump

And last… “Of Bernie Sanders’ $205,000 income, he gave only 4% to charity. Where he’s really generous is when he gives other peoples’ money away.” —Twitter satirist @weknowwhatsbest