Rigged! Sad! “Cruz won more votes in the Wisconsin primary — 531,129 — than Trump appears to have won in New York. With 98 percent of precincts counted, Trump has 518,601 votes in his home state. On the other hand, Trump will win at least 90 of New York’s 95 delegates to Cruz’s zero; in Wisconsin, Cruz’s big victory earned him 36 delegates, to Trump’s six.” —Peter Weber

No Reaganite: “[The Tax Reform Act of 1986] was just an absolute catastrophe for the country, for the real estate industry, and I really hope that something can be done. … Frankly, by having cut the high income tax rates to 25 percent … people don’t have the incentive any more to invest. … I mean, we’re no different right now than the Soviet Union. They have no incentive, and we have no incentive.” —Donald Trump in 1991

Non Compos Mentis: “The British Foreign Office has released an advisory warning travelers to be aware of controversial new laws in North Carolina and Mississippi before visiting the United States.” —The Washington Post (Has the office warned Britons against traveling to Saudi Arabia, Libya, or you know, pretty much any other Muslim country?)

Braying Jenny: “We have just too many guns on the streets, in our homes, in our neighborhoods.” —Hillary Clinton

Belly laugh of the week: “[Hillary Clinton] has run against the wind, against the tide of coverage. … think the media has a very negative relationship with Hillary Clinton and has done for 30-plus years.” —MSNBC’s Joy Reid

Late-night humor: “Ben and Jerry, the ice cream guys, were arrested for being part of a political protest on the steps of the Capitol building. But some good did come out of it. They got a lot of new attention for their cause. Also, they got a new flavor of ice cream, which is Toilet Wine Toffee Crunch.” —Jimmy Kimmel

And Last… “Breaking: Treasury throws founder of the Democratic Party off $20 bill, replaces with gun-toting Republican.” —David Burge