The Gipper: “Only when the human spirit is allowed to invent and create, only when individuals are given a personal stake in deciding economic policies and benefiting from their success — only then can societies remain economically alive, dynamic, progressive, and free.”

For the record: “The only thing preventing both parties from defeating themselves is the fact that elections are a zero-sum game in which one side must win.” —Michael Barone

Upright: “Note to media: when an A-list actor quasi-admits to attempted molestation of a 14-year-old, the headline isn’t that he’s coming out as gay.” —Ben Shapiro

Inquiring minds want to know: “How is it that it’s apparently illegal to remove labels from pillows and mattresses, but politicians are free to mislabel themselves? … Why should people like Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski and John McCain, to mention just three of the most flagrant examples, be allowed to continue calling themselves Republicans? Or, for that matter, why should the Senate’s proudest and most prominent Marxist, Bernie Sanders, get away with labeling himself an independent?” —Burt Prelutsky

Braying Jackass: “People thought in ‘09, '10, '11, that the country couldn’t be divided more. And you go back to Obama’s campaign in 2008, you know, he was talking about the divide and healing the country and all of that. And some would argue on the Right that he did more to divide the country than to unite it. I kind of reject that notion.” —John Boehner illustrating why he’s the former House speaker

Who knew? “Well, you know, it’s been said many times that not all Republicans are racists, but all — virtually all racists belong to the Republican Party today.” —former Treasury official Bruce Bartlett

Non Compos Mentis: “Happy Birthday, Madame President @HillaryClinton.” —Rep. John Lewis

And last… “Going to big Hollywood Halloween party tonight. Only inoffensive costumes permitted. I’m going as a vanilla wafer.” —Pat Sajak