Power corrupts: “When the Democrats are in power, Republicans appear to be the conservative party. But when Republicans are in power, it seems there is no conservative party.” —Sen. Rand Paul

Alpha Jackass: “Where’s Rand Paul’s neighbor when we need him?” —Bette Midler

Non Compos Mentis: “The five big publicly-traded insurance companies in this country, together, cover 125 million people and they are raking in cash — more than $17 billion in profits in the last year alone. … And as we wrestle with insurance companies to get them to treat their customers a little better, keep in mind on this that taxpayers are directly responsible for a huge proportion of those giant profits. The top insurers in the United States pull in nearly 60 percent of their total revenue from Medicare and Medicaid.” —Sen. Elizabeth Warren

Paging the FBI: “This president that we have is really out of control. Sometimes I want to just see him impeached. Other times, quite honestly — I hope there are no FBI agents here — I wouldn’t mind seeing him dead.” —Northeastern’s School of Public Policy and Urban Affairs professor Barry Bluestone

Village Idiots: “Every time I see a woman in public reading a book by a man (usually dead, usually white), I fantasize about offering her a book by a woman instead, replacing the male voices in her head with female ones one book at a time.” —author Danielle Lazarin

Belly laugh of the week: “Having yielded one minute to the leader is the most profound one minute probably in the history of this institution.” —Rep. Maxine Waters on Nancy Pelosi’s eight-hour speech advocating illegal aliens

And last… “During Pelosi’s [marathon speech] … she was brought to tears talking about her young grandson’s birthday party. According to Pelosi, after her grandson blew out the candles on his cake, he said he wished for ‘brown skin and brown eyes like Antonio,’ his friend from Guatemala. … Given the Left’s eager embrace of cultural chaos, Pelosi’s grandson can choose to be a Guatemalan woman if he wants to!” —Gary Bauer