The Gipper: “A government bureau is the nearest thing to eternal life we’ll ever see on this earth.”

Say what? “I would say we have majority support [on college campuses]. I think [leftist support among students is] highly overblown.” —Donald Trump


Anti-capitalist screed: “I wasn’t joking about having a maximum wage. Why shouldn’t there be a maximum wage? … If we say your incalculable greed is not acceptable, we get called communists. Why not call them what they are, which is avaricious and greedy?” —DNC Deputy Chairman Keith Ellison

Missing the forest for the trees: “It is clear we have a problem with the gun laws in this country. They are not squarely focused on keeping all of us safe — especially our children. … This issue transcends our company’s bottom line.” —Dick’s Sporting Goods Chief Executive Edward W. Stack

Irony alert: “It’s unnecessary, it’s embarrassing for a lot of the students … [that] they’re having essentially their First Amendment rights infringed upon because they can’t freely wear whatever backpack they want regardless of what it is. It has to be a clear backpack.” —anti-gun grandstander David Hogg, who wants Americans’ Second Amendment rights infringed upon

Braying Jackass: “‘Lack of candor.’ That’s one of the reasons that Attorney General Jeff Sessions used to justify his decision to fire former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe last week, just two days before Mr. McCabe was set to retire from a distinguished 21-year career with the Bureau. Ironic, because, as you may recall, Jeff Sessions has repeatedly demonstrated a lack of candor — under oath — about his own interactions with Russians.” —former Sen. Al Franken

Non Compos Mentis: “The unwritten rule that women are emotional creatures is not natural; it is a carefully constructed social performance. As such, women’s subjectivities are constructed through the repetition of performing emotional labor. … Given the additional work that is expected of us from students, colleagues, and administrators, we must make arguments for compensation.” —University of San Francisco professor Brandi Lawless

And last… “Most people are going to find Stormy Daniels credible, but the effort to make it into a big campaign finance/criminal story will be a fizzle.” —Rich Lowry