The Gipper: “The government is not the solution. The government is the problem.”

Braying Jackass: “Here’s the bottom line: The United States was attacked. The United States was attacked by Russia. No, it wasn’t like Pearl Harbor. It was a cyberattack. It was a disinformation campaign. But we were attacked. And there’s this investigation to find out what happened. … And there are a whole bunch of people in Washington who are trying to prevent the investigation from going forward. I mean, imagine if somebody tried to prevent the investigation into how Pearl Harbor happened from going forward. You would say that person is not being patriotic.” —CNN’s Jake Tapper

Hypocrisy: “[George] Orwell, what he wrote, it’s practically a shooting script for Donald Trump. There is a method to this, and the method is to convince people that ‘the only truth is the truth that comes from me,’ the ultimate power. … He wants to move us completely into the post-truth political era in which there’s no such thing as objective facts.” —fake newsman Dan Rather

Hyper hypocrisy: “We have a responsibility to protect our borders. All of our borders. … Democrats have been strong on that point. … When we had the 9/11 incident and the commission was formed, and … they made recommendations to protect America, but the Republicans would never take them up. And some of it was about our borders. The Republicans would never take them up.” —Nancy Pelosi

Village Idiots: “White people — including me, including you — must take into the marrow of our privileged bones the truth that ALL black people fear for their lives DAILY in America and have done so for GENERATIONS. White people DO NOT have equivalence for this fear of violence. Given those givens, we must ask our (white)selves — how ‘decent’ are we really? Not in our intent, but in our actions? In our lack of action?” —actress Anne Hathaway

And last… “Unfortunately, banning straws won’t actually stop California Democratic officials from sucking.” —Ben Shapiro