Imagine: “I’m not a drinker. I can honestly say I never had a beer in my life. … It’s one of my only good traits. I don’t drink. … Can you imagine if I had, what a mess I’d be?” —Donald Trump

For the record: “I find it hilarious that now if you drank in college it’s disqualifying from seeking any position of power. Not only did most of the people saying that probably have one too many themselves, but you know who didn’t drink in college? Donald Trump.” —Lisa Boothe

Non Compos Mentis: “[Ted Kennedy] stood up and owned moments where he knew he’d stepped over the line … and he wasn’t about to be nominated to a lifetime position. In fact, he said to the people of Massachusetts, if you think I shouldn’t stay here, then, you know — he took those returns and then he was elected another six times.” —John Kerry

Hyper hypocrisy: “You have to ask yourself why would anybody put themselves through this if they did not believe that they had important information to convey to the Senate. I found [Dr. Ford’s] presentation, I found her willingness to say ‘I don’t remember that but I remember this’ to be very convincing and I felt a great swell of pride that she would be willing to put herself out there under these circumstances.” —Hillary Clinton, who couldn’t deride accusations against her husband with enough ferocity

Braying Jackass: “Ultimately [it’s] not whether he is innocent or guilty. … Have enough questions been raised that we should not move on to another candidate? … Move on to another candidate.” —Cory Booker

That’s cute, coming from a flake: “[Kavanaugh’s] interaction with the members was sharp and partisan and that concerns me. And I tell myself you give a little leeway because of what he’s been through. But, on the other hand, we can’t have this on the Court. We simply can’t.” —Sen. Jeff Flake (R-AZ)

Political futures: “What I can tell you with certainty — we’ll have an FBI report this week, and we’ll have a vote this week.” —Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell on Brett Kavanaugh’s nomination

Hell hath frozen over: “As someone who voted against NAFTA and opposed it for many years, I knew it needed fixing. The president deserves praise for taking large steps to improve it.” —Senator Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY)

And last… “I’m starting to think maybe Brett Kavanaugh didn’t actually do anything wrong.” —Jim Treacher