For the record: “I voted for 44 twice. … Not once in 8 years was I given any support regarding Africa or the Black Agenda, but 45 invites me to the WH to celebrate the #FirstStepAct.” —actor Isaiah Washington

A blind squirrel finds a nut: “I worry sometimes as we think about how to deal with the immigration issue we think that any moves towards assimilation of newcomers to the existing culture is somehow betrayal or a denial of people’s heritage or what have you. The truth of the matter is that if you’re going to have a coherent, cohesive society then everybody has to have some agreed upon rules, and there’s gonna have to be some accommodations that everybody makes, and that includes the people who are newcomers.” —Barack Obama

Friendly fire: “One of the things I do worry about sometimes among progressives in the United States … is a certain kind of rigidity where we say, ‘Uh, I’m sorry, this is how it’s going to be,’ and then we start sometimes creating what’s called a ‘circular firing squad,’ where you start shooting at your allies because one of them has strayed from purity on the issues. And when that happens, typically the overall effort and movement weakens.” —Barack Obama

Friendly fire II: “While there are people who have a large number of Twitter followers, what’s important is that we have large numbers of votes on the floor of the House.” —House Speaker Nancy Pelosi

The BIG Lie: “This is not the national security crisis that the president continues to describe. There is a humanitarian crisis, but it’s created by President Donald Trump. When you go back to the threats even during the midterms, the president was suggesting that there was an immediate national security crisis and he sent troops to the border just to try to distract the American people with the gains that we were going to see in the midterms.” —Rep. Ben Ray Lujan

Alpha Jackass: “I might expect someone to describe another human being as an infestation in the Third Reich. I would not expect it in the United States of America.” —Beto O'Rourke

Braying Jenny: “[Republicans] plan to keep enough people away from the polls that they can stay in power. … Massive voter suppression prevented Stacey Abrams from becoming the rightful governor of Georgia. … They know that if all the votes are counted, we will win every time.” —Sen. Elizabeth Warren

And last… “Any pseudo-Christian who quotes ‘JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED’ as a ‘don’t judge my stupid choices’ card is no better than the moral relativist who mocks his faith entirely.” —Steven Crowder