You Are the Mother!
Pondering the changes in and consequences from modern motherhood.
Maury Povich is an American television personality best known for hosting the show “Maury.” During the late ‘90s, it became known for a segment called “Who’s the Daddy?” during which men who were denying or trying to establish paternity were given DNA tests and the results were revealed on the air. This shock jock television program exploited moms who were in search of the father of their children only to often find out the man she thought was the father was not. No matter what the paternity DNA test results revealed, she was undoubtedly the mother.
Nonetheless, when the paternity test was 99.9% correct that the father was the one on stage, the moms would shout with vengeful glee. This celebration included pointing, jeering, and laughing as to say, “I told you so! Now pay me!” Motherhood in America has taken a detour down a twisted road headed toward a dead end. This is the direction motherhood has taken as children are being viewed as a commodity used for financial gain.
Gone are the days where the children’s needs are valued over personal happiness. Gone are the days when mothers nurtured their children based on love and family legacy, not convenience and comfort. Gone are the days when a mother desired to be with the father of her children so he could train, love, and discipline them. Today, she wants a check in the mail to compensate for his willful or unwilling absence.
I spoke with a mental-health expert recently about the state of motherhood and her response was telling. She said, “I have to watch moms literally ignore the needs of their children because they never got what they needed as a child. They are too busy dealing with their own personal childhood traumas that they cannot fully be there for their children.” She went on to say, “So many moms believe they are well meaning when it comes to what their children need, but they can’t seem to understand that they are only living out their childhood traumas. They try to give what they did not receive from their own mothers.” She then said, “When babies make babies those children grow up to be children in adult bodies. Great grandmothers raise the children, while grandmothers are working, and mothers have checked out.”
On the other side, there is hope for maternity, femininity, and family legacy. I spoke with a mother of a teenage daughter who said, “I’m reading and learning more about the Proverbs 31 woman. I realize that my role as a wife and mother means more than ever. I am starting to prepare my daughter to be a wife and mother one day. I don’t want her to struggle in ways that I have. She’s 14 and I have four years!”
Children need moms who don’t need them. This might not sound politically correct, but when a mom needs a child for her own self-worth and identity, then her children grow up being used by her emotionally. On this Mother’s Day, relish in being just that — a Mom. Children need mothers who mother properly. They need you to heal from your own childhood wounds. They need you to be emotionally available. They need you to respect their fathers. They need you to smile when they do a good job. They need your love and guidance. So on this Mother’s Day just BE a mother! God made you uniquely for the role at hand! Nobody can do what you do! Make America Mother Again! Happy Mother’s Day!