There’s a right way to raise a child, and there’s a wrong way to raise a child. We as adults are capable of mistakes while raising our youth. (As a father of four, I’m certain to have some parenting faux pas of my own.) But there’s one critical childrearing mistake that desperately needs to be addressed, and that is teaching a child to embrace victimhood.

When applied to the black community, this victim mentality is common under the guise of white supremacy. Some black families view this ideology as a “rite of passage” to embracing their culture. In their minds, denying white supremacy would be to deny “Mama Africa.” As for white liberal parents, they feel as though adopting the white-supremacy idea offers atonement for the “sin” of being born Caucasian.

Parents — both black and white — pass down this negative perspective to their children without a second thought as to the consequences of playing this dangerous victim-playing game. These adults think more about how it makes them feel as individuals and less about what the belief in white supremacy communicates to their kids. And from what I’ve witnessed, this narrative can result in the following:

For black children, this idea teaches that white people are at fault for their lack of achievements and that the black child can be successful only if a white person allows it. This kid grows up to only know of a world that is against him. Everywhere he walks, he casts a dark shadow over every white person, all while overlooking the fact that he is standing on his own two feet.

For white children, the white-supremacy mentality is crippling, fostering thoughts of self-defeat but also automatic pity for black people. These kids become adults who think little of the unique abilities of blacks. Shackled to the ball and chain of guilt, they forever feel responsible for the ills of the black community. They are angry because they know the black community is beyond their control.

This has created for everyone a world that cannot see eye to eye. This war wages where many least expect it to, it’s battlefield being the tender, young minds of our children, easily molded into whichever form society chooses.

However, hope is not lost. I believe this is a war that those of us closer to the Right can win.

Teach a child that another child is his brother and they will look after one another. Teach hatred, victim blaming and finger pointing and you’ll set up a young person for failure before they’ve even begun to live.

So far, my four sons have steered clear from the road of victimhood. The road map I provided my children led them to this one very important idea — that we are all different shades of brown. Not only is this true (just look down at your own hand and see for yourself), it also conveys a unifying message: that there is a connection between all of us, whether we identify as white, black, Asian, Latino, or any other “race.” We are all brown because we all come from the same clay that God used to make each of us.

For many parents, it’s too late to turn back the hands of time and “unteach” this narrative. We can only hope that these young people will discover freedom from victimhood for themselves — be it through an ideological awakening or through professional counseling. Maybe one day our children of all “colors” will look each other eye to eye and see brethren rather than burdens.

My wish is that this next generation of parents understands its power to steer children toward the right attitude to navigate our society. Because there are only two options: perpetual despair on account of one’s skin, or freedom.