Annals of the absurd: “You know, we had a ban on military assault-style weapons in this country in the ‘90s and it was successful. And when that ban stopped being in existence because of pressure from the NRA and other gun supporters, that flooded those weapons back into the country.” —former U.S. attorney Joyce Vance

The BIG lie: “The truth is that the storms that are hitting the Caribbean with this intense magnitude are historic, unprecedented, and these storms are manmade storms.” —Emory College professor Tiphanie Yanique

Non compos mentis: “I guarantee you, if it was a Muslim radical firing these AR-15s instead of white Americans, they would be figuring out something to do other than offering bland statements.” —MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough

Grand delusions: “I must say that in my view, Donald Trump is the most dangerous president probably in the history of this country.” — Sen. Bernie Sanders

Letting the cat out of the bag: “I believe that Christine [Ford]’s testimony brought about more good than the harm the misogynist Republicans caused by allowing [Brett] Kavanuagh on the [Supreme] Court. He will always have an asterisk next to his name. When he takes a scalpel to Roe v. Wade we will know who he is, we know his character and we know what motivates him. It’s important that we know and that’s part of what motivated Christine.” —Christine Blasey-Ford attorney Debra Katz

Village idiots: “It’s not like [Elizabeth Warren’s] campaign is making these crazy, outlandish promises that seem impossible to reach. There’s a strategy there.” —Scarlett Johansson

Braying jackass: “You think Mike Pence would eat dog food if Trump told him to? I bet he would. But the vice president’s visit to Doonbeg is historic. It is the first time a Trump property has ever stayed at a Trump property.” —Jimmy Kimmel

And last… “The funny thing about people who advocate reducing the population to save the planet is that they always want to start by killing babies. They never seem to see themselves as members of the surplus population in need of extermination. What a strange coincidence.” —Matt Walsh