Upright: “The march of freedom and democracy … will leave Marxism-Leninism on the ash-heap of history as it has left other tyrannies which stifle the freedom and muzzle the self-expression of the people.” —Ronald Reagan

Non compos mentis: “Congratulations to President Xi and the Chinese people on the 70th Anniversary of the People’s Republic of China!” —Donald Trump

For the record: “Media right now: It was wrong of the [White House] to try to protect sensitive phone calls with foreign leaders, and by the way, now we are going to publish leaked versions of all his phone calls with foreign leaders.” —Rich Lowry

Friendly fire: “If we do [impeachment], the country is going to be paralyzed. … It’s going to be paralyzed for a very long time and all the oxygen in the room is going to be taken by this.” —Bill Maher

Friendly fire II: “That’s why I won’t be a candidate of the Democratic Party. Because [gun confiscation is] so impractical. I don’t know how you’d even do it. It would be such a rallying cry for people to say, ‘They’re overstepping their bounds.’ That is not the way to win this issue.” —Michael Bloomberg

Dezinformatsiya: “What happens when a Democratic speaker of the House — third in line to the presidency, according to the Presidential Succession Act of 1947 — is suddenly thrust into the Oval Office, succeeding a Republican president and vice president who resign, embroiled in scandal? Such a scenario is attracting attention."—The Washington Post in a piece titled, "President Pelosi? It could happen.”

The BIG Lie: “The reality is that Republicans are going to cheat [in the 2020 election]. They’re going to try to keep people away from the polls. They’re going to move polling places. They’re going to do a whole variety of things.” —Eric Holder

Alpha Jackass: “Governor [Greg] Abbott hates trees because one fell on him.” —Travis County (TX) Judge Sarah Eckhardt (“Abbott was paralyzed from the waist down at age 26 when a tree fell on him while he was jogging on a windy day in Houston in 1984. He has used a wheelchair ever since.” —The Federalist’s John Daniel Davidson)

And last… “I genuinely feel sorry for you if you’re getting your ‘news’ from The NY Times or Washington Post. I’m not kidding. They’ve gone all-in in a Pravda-like propaganda effort in order to help the Democrats bury their role in Spygate, the biggest political scandal of our generation.” —Dan Bongino