Re: The Left: “Sen Harris doesn’t even help the ticket geographically in a way that Amy Klobuchar might have. Harris is from California. For Heaven’s sake, Benito Mussolini could carry California so long as he had a (D) after his name.” —Burt Prelutsky

Friendly fire: “Oh man, [the DNC]: How do you describe it? It’s like — did you ever tune into the Jerry Lewis telethon at like 2:00 in the morning? It was a lot like that.” —HBO’s Bill Maher

Penetrating analysis: “It’s so sad to see Republicans marching to this drummer. They’re going to have, as I’ve said over and over, major doggy doo on their shoes for a long time to come.” —House Speaker Nancy Pelosi

Braying jenny:  "The president welcomes [Russian meddling]. So, again, it isn’t a question of accepting the [Election Day] result. The question is, is making sure the public knows that they must vote, they must have a plan to vote, they must vote early because their playbook is one that has all kinds of obstacles to participation in our country.“ —Nancy Pelosi

Belly laugh of the week: "I didn’t feel pressure to select a black woman.” —Democrat presidential nominee Joe Biden

A finger in the wind: “I believe in Joe Biden, I believe in his perspective, and frankly I think that [putting a spotlight on my debate attacks] is a distraction from what we need to accomplish right now and what we need to do.” —Democrat veep nominee Kamala Harris

Dezinformatsiya: “The television networks are gonna have interesting choices to make … about whether to cut away [from the RNC] if there’s this stream of disinformation happening live.” —CNN’s Brian Stelter

Famous last words: “I have had no contact with [U.S. Attorney John Durham] and haven’t talked to him. I can’t imagine that I’m a target.” —disgraced former FBI Director James Comey

Non compos mentis: “Been reading Isabel Wilkerson’s new book, ‘Caste,’ and if you were of the opinion that the United States wasn’t nearly as bad as Nazi Germany, how wrong you are. Can’t encourage you enough to read this masterpiece.” —The Atlantic’s Jemele Hill (“But Kevin Williamson was too much for The Atlantic.” —Ben Shapiro)

And last… “It’s very telling that at the DNC convention, impeachment was brought up exactly ZERO times.” —Steven Crowder