Upon the last American soldier leaving Afghanistan after nearly 20 years, the commander-in-chief gave a speech in which he took credit for what he called “the right decision, a wise decision, and the best decision for America,” all while he also blamed his predecessor for the fact that none of those descriptors are actually true. Seven months in, that’s Joe Biden’s presidency in a nutshell.

Among the many lies Biden told was that he was somehow hamstrung by Donald Trump’s deal to withdraw American troops by May 1. The very change of date to August 31 belies that claim, but so does the fact that Biden immediately set about to undo everything he possibly could from Trump’s four-year term. Why was the Afghanistan deal the singularly unique Trump action that handcuffed Biden?

Another big lie was to implicitly blame Trump for the haphazard and deadly manner in which the withdrawal was conducted — a disastrous withdrawal that Biden also insisted went exactly as planned.

Despite its flaws, Trump’s deal at least included conditions for withdrawal, and there’s no chance on God’s green earth that Trump would have allowed America, the nation he demonstrably loves so much, to suffer the gross humiliation that Biden has put us through. No American had died in Afghanistan in 18 months. Yet Biden’s dereliction of duty set the stage for 13 brave Americans to be killed during our retreat, and all he did in response was look at his watch while receiving their remains and lob a few missiles at some ostensibly “high value” targets — some of whom were reportedly a family with visas to leave.

Early in his remarks, Biden said, “In April, I made the decision to end this war.” He later contradicted himself with a false dichotomy: “We were left with a simple decision: Either follow through on the commitment made by the last administration and leave Afghanistan, or say we weren’t leaving and commit another tens of thousands more troops going back to war.”

He argued that was “the real choice,” but that’s a lie. There’s an awful lot of middle ground between surrender and all-out war. And whose decision was it, his or Trump’s? Both, according to Biden.

Biden falsely asserted that August 31 was “not due to an arbitrary deadline” but that the date was “designed to save American lives.” It’s true it wasn’t arbitrary, but only because he hoped to have a symbolic exit ahead of 9/11. As for saving lives, obviously he failed. He also abandoned as many as 200 American citizens in Afghanistan, along with tens of thousands of our Afghan allies — vetted translators and others who served next to American Patriots in uniform, and who deserve a chance to avoid torture and death at the hands of Afghanistan’s new and cruel Taliban masters. Those coming deaths are on his hands.

He explained himself by saying that his administration had been trying for months to get Americans out, and that these people, in many cases dual citizens, didn’t actually want to leave. (On a related note, his administration is as confused as he is. White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki recently called it “irresponsible to say Americans are stranded.” Pentagon Press Secretary John Kirby, on the other hand, said this is no big deal because Americans “get stranded in countries all the time.”)

Defending his decision to abandon Americans behind enemy lines, Biden again blamed Trump for problems with “the extraordinary success of this mission.”

Pro tip: If you want to evacuate Americans from a hostile place, maybe don’t abandon an American air base to our enemies before exfiltrating all military personnel. Biden didn’t even bother to secure the capital where the airport was located. According to the Washington Post’s weekend bombshell, the Taliban had offered the U.S. control of Kabul until the evacuation deadline. Biden refused, wanting only to secure the airport — all while reportedly giving the Taliban the names of Americans and Afghans attempting to evacuate. Kabul’s “security” was left in the hands of Khalil Haqqani, a man with a $5 million U.S. bounty on his head because of his connections to al-Qaida. That had deadly results.

As for our allies, Biden’s only comments were to blame them for losing their own country to the Taliban. Biden did not, of course, say a word about how difficult their job was after we pulled all military and contractor support from their defensive efforts.

He claimed to have prepared for even the “eventuality” of a Taliban takeover, while all indications are that Biden and his national security team were taken by surprise at the speed of the Taliban’s advance.

Also enlightening are newly revealed comments he made to then-Afghan President Ashraf Ghani in July: “I need not tell you the perception around the world and in parts of Afghanistan, I believe, is that things are not going well in terms of the fight against the Taliban. And there is a need, whether it is true or not, there is a need to project a different picture.” Projecting a different picture than reality is exactly what his speech was meant to do.

Biden concluded by patting himself on the back for having “honored” his campaign commitment to “end this war.” The problem is that he didn’t end it; he just left the battlefield. Afghanistan will quickly become the same al-Qaida and now ISIS safe haven it was before 9/11, and the war may come back to America’s shores all too soon.

To sum up Biden’s speech, everything he did was exactly right, well-planned, and in America’s best interests, and the whole reason it was a colossal failure and humiliation for our nation is because of the Bad Orange Man and our no-good allies. We many no longer have a president who mean-tweets, but that doesn’t mean we have a class act or able leader in the White House.

(Updated.)